Well, as I continue on my journey, I'm beginning to find the same thing. There are seasons in my life when the Words of God are too complicated for my child-like mind to comprehend, and yet other times it's as though the Lord God is holding me in His lap and explaining it all.
Below is an excerpt from Chapter 37 of Thomas a Kempis book The Imitation of Christ,
"At times, God will withdraw from you; at times you will be troubled by your neighbor, and, what is more, you will often be a burden to yourself. Neither can any remedy or comfort bring you relief, but you must bear it as long as God wills. For God desires that you learn to bear trials without comfort, that you may yield yourself wholly to Him, and grow more humble through tribulation. No man feels so deeply in his heart the Passion of Christ as he who has to suffer in like manner. The Cross always stands ready, and everywhere awaits you. You cannot escape it, wherever you flee; for wherever you go, you bear yourself, and always find yourself. Look up or down, without you or within, and everywhere you will find the Cross. And everywhere you must have patience, if you wish to attain inner peace, and win an eternal crown."
Ok, I'm right there this week. I understand this. I feel this. It's as though God is saying,"Ok Amy, you're learning, let's take it a step further."
For those that have been following my journey, you may remember I began caring for my two neices this past spring. Due to some family circumstances beyond our control, we have stepped up to home-school these two little girls, ages 6 and 4, and help out wherever we can.
In the beginning, I wasn't too happy about the situation. I felt it was thrown upon me. I didn't want to raise these two girls. It seemed so unfair. Why me? ( I told you many times, I tend to feel and act like a child myself.) I just didn't want to do it.
The little one is 4.5 years old, but mentally she's a 2-3 year old. We are hoping that she is just a little behind and will eventually catch up, but we are all beginning to realize that may not be, and God may have very special plans for this child and for us as we walk this journey together.
Today, I did something I was dreading. Today, the opportunity presented itself to tell this child's mother that we may have to have her tested at the beginning of the school next year if no improvement is seen this year.This little one may need to be taught in a special school. I may not be capable of meeting her needs. I have already spoken with her grandparents who are helping to raise the girls too, and I spoke with her teachers at church, but I didn't want to hurt her mother. What mother wants to hear that there may be something wrong with their child? What pain!
I shared that pain with her this morning, as we talked, I found myself grieving and crying right along with my sister-in-law. Where did that come from? What's happening to me? A few months ago, these were children and family members I didn't want to deal with. I felt burdened by.
This past Saturday, I informed my husband that I would be hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day at our house from now on. In years past, I have avoided extended family interaction as much as possible because of the difficulties of dealing with each individual's special needs and personalities. My way of dealing with such things is not dealing with it at all. But I'm convinced God my Father is teaching me that is not His way. His way is LOVE and COMPASSION, unconditionally.
This past Sunday, two dear friends, brothers in Christ, gotten into a bitter quarrel. Words and actions of great pain and sorrow were exchanged. My heart GRIEVED. I literally shook with anger and tears of frustration to see two brothers in Christ be so unloving to one another. Why? Why do I care so much? These are just two men in my church that got into it with each other? What is happening to me?
You know I'm usually an NIV person. I have a hard time understanding KJV and usually think versions like the Message paraphrase too much, but look at how the Message put Ephesians 4:15
Paul says,"God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love - like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do."
and here too Mark 3:31-35 (MESSAGE)
Just then his mother and brothers showed up. Standing outside, they relayed a message that they wanted a word with him. He was surrounded by the crowd when he was given the message, "Your mother and brothers and sisters are outside looking for you." Jesus responded, "Who do you think are my mother and brothers?" Looking around, taking in everyone seated around him, he said, "Right here, right in front of you - my mother and my brothers. Obedience is thicker than blood. The person who obeys God's will is my brother and sister and mother."
Ok, let me explain where I'm going with this. God is obviously teaching us through our trials and tribulations
One more time, one more scripture from the Message translation.
James 1:2-5 (MESSAGE)
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.
Could it be spelled out any clearer than these three passages? We are all one big family in the eyes of God. God is our Father, our loving, protecting, caring, compassionate Father. He desires a relationship with us. He wants us to seek him out and ask questions like: "why?" "how come?"
He knows you don't understand. So He teaches and He guides along the way. We are His children. We are not perfect and we are going to make mistakes. And when we do, He picks us up, loves on us and sets back on the path where we need to be.
We are all His children, one big family. And the closer we geet to God, the more we learn to be like Him, the more we understand that concept.
This morning it hit me, if this is what it feels to be like Christ, to feel great love and compassion for others, to grieve and hurt when others grieve and hurt. If this is just a small taste of what it's like to be Christ-like, can you imagine the grief God feels for us when we suffer and when we sin? How much pain do we cause Him? Oh Lord, how deep and wide is your love for us.
I posting a link to a sermon I found concerning being Christ-like. I encourage you to print it out and read it. Click Here.
The author tells us we learn to become more Christ-like as we go through trials in life, but the key to all of it is our attitude. If our heart is not ready, trials will only bitter, not better. He quotes Philippians 2:5 (NIV)
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
He says and I quote, " How you view your experiences will often determine what you gain from them. We will grow in Christ if we view troubles as opportunities to learn to trust God."
AMEN.
There's not much else to say. Trials come our way: death, miscarriages, family circumstances, health issues, conflict. With each step, I'm learning to walk closer to closer to God and never leave His side. I am not prepared for the journey, but I'm learning to TRUST. He loves us and he provides for us and He'll guide us each step of the way.
May you be blessed,
Amy
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