The song today is by Twilia Paris - The Warrior is a Child.
"They don't know that I go running home when I fall downThey don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and and cry for just a while 'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child"
Submit- Does this word make you cringe?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1 (NIV)
Like a child who has been told they are to do something they do not want to do, you can just see yourself standing there, putting your hands to your head, grabbing fistfuls of hair, crying out to your father in heaven and going, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's familiar with these temper tantrums, I'm sure.
James goes on to say throughout Chapter 4 (NIV)
"2.You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
6"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
17 "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
That last part is a real blow to the ego.
"Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
Ok, everyone who is struggling with this issue of submission, you know you want to,
go ahead and take a deep breath and sigh deeply. (SIGH........)
The Bible tells all of us to submit first to God, and then to one another in reverence to Christ.
Job 22:21"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you."
Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"
What does Submit mean anyway? I looked it up.http://www.freedictionary.com/, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
Submit- To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.Submission - the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant
Submissive - Inclined or willing to submit,
Submission - showing quiet obedience
I did a word search for these three words on http://www.biblegateway.com/
The Word, "submit," came up 26 times, "submission," 8 times and, "submissive" 4 times
As a woman, the Bible is quite clear on the matter.
I'm sure many of you are very familiar with the following:
Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
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Oh boy, there are times when I really don’t want to do that.
It just doesn’t seem fair. Are we really suppose to obey, be compliant, humble ourselves to our husbands lead?
But what if we think he’s wrong in what he believes?
Keep reading ladies..... it's not all bad
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1 Peter 3:1" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,"
1 Peter 3:5 "For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,"
Why do we struggle so much with this issue?
We're selfish.
Our sinful nature is a selfish nature. We all have sin, and in the center of sin is what? "I"
Philippians 1:21 (NIV) "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
If you are a Christian, then these words are true
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
For us as women, the instructions seem to go on and on:
1 Timothy 2:11 "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission."
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I used to think Paul had a problem with women, but the more I read, the more grace I’m given to discern and gain in knowledge and wisdom.
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Throughout scripture everyone is told:
Proverbs 17:14 "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
1 Timothy 2:8 "I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
Job 13:5 "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a matter in my own life where this issue of submissiveness keeps coming up.
I just don't want to do it.
Here recently, the issue arose again.
In the past, I would have, like a child, kicked screamed, ranted and raved.
But now, compared to the past, I have committed myself to studying the scriptures, prayer and seeking wise counsel.
It makes all the difference in the world.
Hebrews 5:7 "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Psalm 4:1 "Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
Psalm 102:17 "He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea." Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Psalm 4:4 "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. "
I tried my best, I wanted to do what is right, but in the end, remember, I am only still a child, maturing and growing daily in God’s word.
When I could stand it no longer, when I felt I had no one to turn to but God and desperately needed someone to talk to, I went to a friend whom I trust and sought wise counsel
Proverbs 19:20 "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach"
We’ve had this same discussion 3 times now in 9 years,my friend and I, and once again I let my friend know, “I’m here again and I don’t know what to do. I messed up.”
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
This friend is patient, probably losing patience with me, but still always there for me.
1Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
My friend listened to all I poured out and then, in love and wise counsel, gave me the same advice I’d been given twice before
“Submit – and pray like the dickens!”
But this time……..
“I was ready to listen.”
Isaiah 26:16 "LORD, they came to you in their distress; when you disciplined them, they could barely whisper a prayer."
Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Mark 9:29 He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer. "
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Philippians 1:9 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight"
So, how did this end?
I knew and have known along what to do.
I submitted.
God is working and all is well.
I leave you today with the words of Paul in Philippians 1.
Words I’m beginning to appreciate more and more.
In His love,
Amy
Philippians 1 (NIV)
"Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." (NIV)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
You are not Alone - Part 2 Depression/Anxiety : Is it o.k. to take medication or should we just trust in God? The Answer: Yes! and Yes.
I was touched by an email I received on one of my groups yesterday. It was an email I could have written myself ten years ago.
"What's right for me may not be right for you and that's O.K."
This is my motto, and it took me forever to learn it and live by it.
But, God is gracious and patient.
I did not realize I had a problem until I was 25 years old.
I had struggled with anxiety,low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and inadequate coping skills for over 14 years.
I had cratered in the public school system due to the inability to handle peer pressure by becoming anorexic/bulimic ( an attempt to gain some sort of security and control in my life that seemed so insecure and so out-of control).
I had been to my family physician many times as a teen complaining of fatigue, aches, pains, and wanting to just curl up in bed and sleep.
However, the old family doctor was too fixed in his old ways to think anything could be wrong with a young teenage girl who on the outside seemed perfectly healthy.
So without any blood work or running any tests, he assumed I was just "being a teenager," and needed to talk things over with my mom.
Things remained unchanged and continued to get worse.
In my second year of marriage, my OB/GYN suggested to my husband and I that I begin taking Prozac.
But the year was 1991, and Prozac was new to the public and there was much talk about those prescribed the drug having suicidal thoughts or actually committing suicide.
No! This was not what I needed. I was appalled at the doctor! Furious at the thought that he was saying there was something "MENTALLY," wrong with me! We never returned.
In June of 1997, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Lisa.
I had waited so long for this child.
My husband and I had met when I was 12, married when I was 18. Went to college, bought a house, was financially stable.
We did all those things, everyone told us to do first, but since I was 14 yeas old, all I really wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies!
Well, here I was, a baby in my arms.
I should have been the happiest woman on the planet, but I was miserable.
I lost so much weight after the delivery of the baby that my doctor walked right by the very next day and did not recognize me!
I cried all the time for 8 weeks. I lost all desire in eating.
I had trouble producing milk to feed my child.
She had colic. No one in the house was sleeping.
There was trouble with my career.
I finally had this beautiful baby of my dreams in my arms and I had so many things going on, it was hard to enjoy it!
I pulled out of it somehow. I changed jobs, started a regular routine, schedule, etc.
Life was good for almost two years.
I worked, we played. Life became very simple for awhile.
In May 1999, right before Lisa's second birthday, my dad had a sudden heart attack and went to be with the Lord.
Life as I knew it stopped.
I am an only child, and I was very close to my dad.
The men in my life were God, my husband and my dad.
It was earth shattering to me.
I knew of God and believed to some extent, but so many things were confusing.
I was trying to make sense of it all.
I had 5 jobs in the next 6 months.
I just couldn't think straight.
I just wanted to come home and hold Lisa.
Other than Lance, my husband, I had no one to talk to.
He couldn't relate. I'm not blaming him. He had not suffered this kind of loss before.
It was not his fault.
We attended church, but again, they did not know how to relate.
Three months had passed, and people were like, "it's been three months, get over it."
But I couldn't.
I desperately needed somebody to talk to, to understand, to pull me out.
Again, somehow, I pulled through.
After Christmas 1999, Lance and I began trying for baby #2.
I didn't want Lisa to be alone like I was.
I wanted her to have a sibling to share things with.
We conceived in February, bought a house in March.
I began working from home. We were active in a church.
Life was good again.
Sunday July 3, 2000 - We were in church. I was getting up to go from Sunday School to the worship service when I felt the baby drop like a ton of bricks....... and she didn't move for 12 hours.
Yes, "SHE," our beautiful Ariel.
I had just found out I was having another girl.
I had a new doctor. I had just seen him, he put me on a low dose of zoloft to help with depression/anxiety symptoms, all seemed well, but something was definitely wrong now.
Ariel was 22 weeks along and had decided to come out now!
The next 4 months were spent in and out of the hospital and bed, but in the end, through God's grace, I delivered a healthy 7 lb, 13 oz baby girl on November 1, 2000, only one week before my due date.
It was during those 4 months that things started changing for the better, starting with God.
I spent a lot of time lying in a bed talking to God.
"God, you've given me this baby. You've given me Ariel. We've named her. She's here and she's real. I can't see you taking her away from us after you've given her to us."
I'd lie there and listen to her heartbeat on the monitors and pass the time by singing,
I did just that. I had surrendered all to Him.
I realized who was actually in charge, and I put it all in his arms.
From there, it was not all a bed of roses, but it does get better.
In 2001, I was attending Sunday school, and somehow the topic of discussion became about people taking medications for anxiety/depressions.
No one in the room knew I was on medication.
The teacher made it very clear that she firmly believed all of these "medications, "were unnecessary.
I am paraphrasing here, but she went on to say, in a matter of words, people like that needed to just turn to God and trust in God to meet their needs and solve their problems. They just weren't trusting God.
Well, that put me right over the edge in a barrel!
I was not secure nor mature enough in my FAITH yet to realize who was being the immature one here.
I tossed everything I knew about my Zoloft right out the window. Forget the fact that it helps me think straight. Forget the fact that it really does help through post-partum depression and the "baby blues." Forget about all the good the medication can and was doing.
I went right off the meds, and was trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY.
Through a series of events over the next year, God moved us from that church to a new church HOME.
It was here, in our new HOME, that I sat in a pew after church one Sunday, crying and pouring my heart out to our friend and pastor.
True healing and restoration finally began. I was 30 years old.
He's a very kind and understanding man. Not only is he our pastor, but is also a marriage counselor.
God did so good.
You see, not only was I struggling with whether or not I should be on medication or not, but it was also during this time that I began learning about being quiverfull and I felt led to leave my family planning to God.
This is what I had always felt led to do. I just didn't realize it.
All I ever wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies.
I am my most happiest when I am at home being a keeper at home, managing the home and being a mom.
I am called to be Momma. (There's a book in that statement someday, I can almost guarantee it.)
I felt called to be Momma and be quiverfull, but Lance did not.
If you add that to the fact that I'm not on any medication at this point,
I was cratering BIG TIME!
So first things first,
Our Pastor, for the first time in my life said, " It is not your fault."
Oh my goodness, it is not my fault?
I have nothing to feel guilty about?
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Oh how liberating!
He went on to say how he felt depression can be a combination of things.
On one side, yes we do have to learn to turn things over to God and trust in Him and have a relationship with Him, learn to communicate with Him first.
On the other side, sometimes it's also chemical, and a chemical imbalance, and it's the combination of both God and medication that work best together.
That was a new beginning for me.........
Where are we now?
I am not ashamed to say it. I take 25mg of Zoloft a day for depression/anxiety.
I will continue to take it everyday for the rest of my life.
I have quit listening to those out there who would condemn, judge or push their own beliefs and convictions on me.
I listen instead to my heart and the quiet but strong leading of God through His WORD and through the Holy Spirit.
"He leadeth me beside the still waters."
I have had three zoloft babies so far.
Ariel was born 11-01-00
Amelia was born 02-22-04
Michael was born 11-30-06.
All of these children are happy, healthy and beautiful!
I do not fear I am harming my children by taking zoloft while I am pregnant.
Actually, I think I am able to be a better mom, wife, friend and daughter to God because of the medication.
I am happy and healthy and will be able to handle whatever the Lord presents me with.
Am I trusting only in the medication to make my life better?
No, not at all.
God is my best friend. I know I am NEVER ALONE for HE is with me.
I talk with Him in prayer.
I walk with Him through his Word.
A wise home-school mom once said,"God doesn't always call the equipped, but he always equips the called."
God has equipped me with His Holy Spirit, my Bible, my husband, my church family and friends,(all of whom do not judge me nor condemn me, but walk with me with encouragement and support through Faith and Grace in our Lord Jesus Christ.)
And He has equipped me with a believing doctor who supports my belief and calling to be quiverfull.
It has been a long journey. One I would wish on no one else, but I leave you with this one piece of advice I hope you will heed.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you were diabetic and needed insulin the rest of your life, would you refuse to take it and say I'm just going to trust God to make me well?
or would you see it as God providing you what you need through medicine to be well to carry on what he has planned for you?
For me, my zoloft, in combination with my FAITH and TRUST, and what God has provided for me in the forms of medication, support, encouragement, etc., all has equipped me to be well to carry on whatever God has planned for me. May he do the same for you.
A young woman writes of her struggles with anxiety/depression, especially postpartum and her struggles with the issues many Christians face.
Is it o.k. to take medication for anxiety/depression?
Should I just trust in God?
Should I have more children?
She states that she feels so much better on the medication, but many have condemned this woman for taking medication.
Many Christians believe that we who "think" we need medication to deal with our depression/anxiety issues are just "weak" Christians who need to just TRUST in the Lord and take all our concerns to Him in prayer and He will take care of us.
Well.......... they're right...... TO SOME EXTENT, but let me take a few moments to tell you my story and then all of you out there who struggle with these issues can take what you want from
Is it o.k. to take medication for anxiety/depression?
Should I just trust in God?
Should I have more children?
She states that she feels so much better on the medication, but many have condemned this woman for taking medication.
Many Christians believe that we who "think" we need medication to deal with our depression/anxiety issues are just "weak" Christians who need to just TRUST in the Lord and take all our concerns to Him in prayer and He will take care of us.
Well.......... they're right...... TO SOME EXTENT, but let me take a few moments to tell you my story and then all of you out there who struggle with these issues can take what you want from
it, but most of all I hope you
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
"What's right for me may not be right for you and that's O.K."
This is my motto, and it took me forever to learn it and live by it.
But, God is gracious and patient.
I did not realize I had a problem until I was 25 years old.
I had struggled with anxiety,low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and inadequate coping skills for over 14 years.
I had cratered in the public school system due to the inability to handle peer pressure by becoming anorexic/bulimic ( an attempt to gain some sort of security and control in my life that seemed so insecure and so out-of control).
I had been to my family physician many times as a teen complaining of fatigue, aches, pains, and wanting to just curl up in bed and sleep.
However, the old family doctor was too fixed in his old ways to think anything could be wrong with a young teenage girl who on the outside seemed perfectly healthy.
So without any blood work or running any tests, he assumed I was just "being a teenager," and needed to talk things over with my mom.
Things remained unchanged and continued to get worse.
In my second year of marriage, my OB/GYN suggested to my husband and I that I begin taking Prozac.
But the year was 1991, and Prozac was new to the public and there was much talk about those prescribed the drug having suicidal thoughts or actually committing suicide.
No! This was not what I needed. I was appalled at the doctor! Furious at the thought that he was saying there was something "MENTALLY," wrong with me! We never returned.
In June of 1997, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Lisa.
I had waited so long for this child.
My husband and I had met when I was 12, married when I was 18. Went to college, bought a house, was financially stable.
We did all those things, everyone told us to do first, but since I was 14 yeas old, all I really wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies!
Well, here I was, a baby in my arms.
I should have been the happiest woman on the planet, but I was miserable.
I lost so much weight after the delivery of the baby that my doctor walked right by the very next day and did not recognize me!
I cried all the time for 8 weeks. I lost all desire in eating.
I had trouble producing milk to feed my child.
She had colic. No one in the house was sleeping.
There was trouble with my career.
I finally had this beautiful baby of my dreams in my arms and I had so many things going on, it was hard to enjoy it!
I pulled out of it somehow. I changed jobs, started a regular routine, schedule, etc.
Life was good for almost two years.
I worked, we played. Life became very simple for awhile.
In May 1999, right before Lisa's second birthday, my dad had a sudden heart attack and went to be with the Lord.
Life as I knew it stopped.
I am an only child, and I was very close to my dad.
The men in my life were God, my husband and my dad.
It was earth shattering to me.
I knew of God and believed to some extent, but so many things were confusing.
I was trying to make sense of it all.
I had 5 jobs in the next 6 months.
I just couldn't think straight.
I just wanted to come home and hold Lisa.
Other than Lance, my husband, I had no one to talk to.
He couldn't relate. I'm not blaming him. He had not suffered this kind of loss before.
It was not his fault.
We attended church, but again, they did not know how to relate.
Three months had passed, and people were like, "it's been three months, get over it."
But I couldn't.
I desperately needed somebody to talk to, to understand, to pull me out.
Again, somehow, I pulled through.
After Christmas 1999, Lance and I began trying for baby #2.
I didn't want Lisa to be alone like I was.
I wanted her to have a sibling to share things with.
We conceived in February, bought a house in March.
I began working from home. We were active in a church.
Life was good again.
Sunday July 3, 2000 - We were in church. I was getting up to go from Sunday School to the worship service when I felt the baby drop like a ton of bricks....... and she didn't move for 12 hours.
Yes, "SHE," our beautiful Ariel.
I had just found out I was having another girl.
I had a new doctor. I had just seen him, he put me on a low dose of zoloft to help with depression/anxiety symptoms, all seemed well, but something was definitely wrong now.
Ariel was 22 weeks along and had decided to come out now!
The next 4 months were spent in and out of the hospital and bed, but in the end, through God's grace, I delivered a healthy 7 lb, 13 oz baby girl on November 1, 2000, only one week before my due date.
It was during those 4 months that things started changing for the better, starting with God.
I spent a lot of time lying in a bed talking to God.
"God, you've given me this baby. You've given me Ariel. We've named her. She's here and she's real. I can't see you taking her away from us after you've given her to us."
I'd lie there and listen to her heartbeat on the monitors and pass the time by singing,
" All to Jesus, I surrender. All to him I freely give. I will ever love and trust him, in his presence daily live. I surrender all."
I did just that. I had surrendered all to Him.
I realized who was actually in charge, and I put it all in his arms.
From there, it was not all a bed of roses, but it does get better.
In 2001, I was attending Sunday school, and somehow the topic of discussion became about people taking medications for anxiety/depressions.
No one in the room knew I was on medication.
The teacher made it very clear that she firmly believed all of these "medications, "were unnecessary.
I am paraphrasing here, but she went on to say, in a matter of words, people like that needed to just turn to God and trust in God to meet their needs and solve their problems. They just weren't trusting God.
Well, that put me right over the edge in a barrel!
I was not secure nor mature enough in my FAITH yet to realize who was being the immature one here.
I tossed everything I knew about my Zoloft right out the window. Forget the fact that it helps me think straight. Forget the fact that it really does help through post-partum depression and the "baby blues." Forget about all the good the medication can and was doing.
I went right off the meds, and was trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY.
Through a series of events over the next year, God moved us from that church to a new church HOME.
It was here, in our new HOME, that I sat in a pew after church one Sunday, crying and pouring my heart out to our friend and pastor.
True healing and restoration finally began. I was 30 years old.
He's a very kind and understanding man. Not only is he our pastor, but is also a marriage counselor.
God did so good.
You see, not only was I struggling with whether or not I should be on medication or not, but it was also during this time that I began learning about being quiverfull and I felt led to leave my family planning to God.
This is what I had always felt led to do. I just didn't realize it.
All I ever wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies.
I am my most happiest when I am at home being a keeper at home, managing the home and being a mom.
I am called to be Momma. (There's a book in that statement someday, I can almost guarantee it.)
I felt called to be Momma and be quiverfull, but Lance did not.
If you add that to the fact that I'm not on any medication at this point,
I was cratering BIG TIME!
So first things first,
Our Pastor, for the first time in my life said, " It is not your fault."
Oh my goodness, it is not my fault?
I have nothing to feel guilty about?
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Oh how liberating!
He went on to say how he felt depression can be a combination of things.
On one side, yes we do have to learn to turn things over to God and trust in Him and have a relationship with Him, learn to communicate with Him first.
On the other side, sometimes it's also chemical, and a chemical imbalance, and it's the combination of both God and medication that work best together.
That was a new beginning for me.........
Where are we now?
I am not ashamed to say it. I take 25mg of Zoloft a day for depression/anxiety.
I will continue to take it everyday for the rest of my life.
I have quit listening to those out there who would condemn, judge or push their own beliefs and convictions on me.
I listen instead to my heart and the quiet but strong leading of God through His WORD and through the Holy Spirit.
"He leadeth me beside the still waters."
I have had three zoloft babies so far.
Ariel was born 11-01-00
Amelia was born 02-22-04
Michael was born 11-30-06.
All of these children are happy, healthy and beautiful!
I do not fear I am harming my children by taking zoloft while I am pregnant.
Actually, I think I am able to be a better mom, wife, friend and daughter to God because of the medication.
I am happy and healthy and will be able to handle whatever the Lord presents me with.
Am I trusting only in the medication to make my life better?
No, not at all.
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways Acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:4-5
God is my best friend. I know I am NEVER ALONE for HE is with me.
I talk with Him in prayer.
I walk with Him through his Word.
A wise home-school mom once said,"God doesn't always call the equipped, but he always equips the called."
God has equipped me with His Holy Spirit, my Bible, my husband, my church family and friends,(all of whom do not judge me nor condemn me, but walk with me with encouragement and support through Faith and Grace in our Lord Jesus Christ.)
And He has equipped me with a believing doctor who supports my belief and calling to be quiverfull.
It has been a long journey. One I would wish on no one else, but I leave you with this one piece of advice I hope you will heed.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you were diabetic and needed insulin the rest of your life, would you refuse to take it and say I'm just going to trust God to make me well?
or would you see it as God providing you what you need through medicine to be well to carry on what he has planned for you?
For me, my zoloft, in combination with my FAITH and TRUST, and what God has provided for me in the forms of medication, support, encouragement, etc., all has equipped me to be well to carry on whatever God has planned for me. May he do the same for you.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
"For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the LORD,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, "
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you, declares the LORD,
Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Happy New Year!!! You are not alone. Support and Encouragement for 2009
Hello and Happy New Year 2009!!!
I've been out for awhile now, but for good reason.
Let's see........ Our new house is almost complete, I was allowed the privilege of writing and directing our church's Christmas play, I needed some time just me and God, a little R & R, Rest & Reassurance, and I'm still homeschooling my four children, my five year old niece, and on top of that trying to lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months! (I lost 6 pounds this first week). So all in all, I am busy, but all is well, and getting better!!!
The family photo you see was taken December 11, 2008. Family photos are always an experience for us. This one turned out very well despite the fact that I am a major blinker. I will blink at anything. It took us 2 hours to do this photo shoot. Michael was having an allergic reaction and asking for a hamburger and Dr.Pepper. This was the first year Lisa had glasses, so we had to be careful not to have glare off of both Lisa's and Lance's glasses, keep Michael smiling and happy and keep me from blinking. This family photo is pulled off each year by God's Grace Alone.
Alone. What a horrible word. No one should ever be Alone.
During my R& R, God and I are constantly working on forgiving and forgetting. There were times in my past when I was alone, or at least I thought I was. But you know what? God is so good. Sometimes he has to wait on you to realize that, but God is and always will be a good and loving God who wants you to realize YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. God is always here.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)
I did a search on http://www.biblegateway.com/ for the words "never leave you." Over 10 entries popped up right away. Here are two of them.
Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
These two verses alone should make you able to stand up bold and courageous and yell at the top of your lungs. " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!"
FAITH IS A VICTORY, FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
Proverbs 3:4-5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." (NIV)
Let me assure you in 2009 whatever you are going through, whatever comes your way, know God is with you and you are not alone.
My family and I have begun reading the Bible together each night. We call it Bible Time. We read from Psalms, Proverbs and 2-3 other books each night to complete the whole Bible in a year. I'm enjoying this time each night with my family, studying and reading together.
I encourage you to spend time each day hiding God's Word in your heart and praying to him. He created you for fellowship. He wants you to know him and he wants the priviledge of being part of your life. But he will not come in until you open the door and let him in.
Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."(NIV)
Let Him In!!!!
I am here to testify when you place Christ in the center of all you do, there is nothing you cannot do. The foundation you stand on is TRUE AND FIRM, no storms of life will shake you, you will overcome any and all obstacles!
Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (NIV)
I've been out for awhile now, but for good reason.
Let's see........ Our new house is almost complete, I was allowed the privilege of writing and directing our church's Christmas play, I needed some time just me and God, a little R & R, Rest & Reassurance, and I'm still homeschooling my four children, my five year old niece, and on top of that trying to lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months! (I lost 6 pounds this first week). So all in all, I am busy, but all is well, and getting better!!!
The family photo you see was taken December 11, 2008. Family photos are always an experience for us. This one turned out very well despite the fact that I am a major blinker. I will blink at anything. It took us 2 hours to do this photo shoot. Michael was having an allergic reaction and asking for a hamburger and Dr.Pepper. This was the first year Lisa had glasses, so we had to be careful not to have glare off of both Lisa's and Lance's glasses, keep Michael smiling and happy and keep me from blinking. This family photo is pulled off each year by God's Grace Alone.
Alone. What a horrible word. No one should ever be Alone.
During my R& R, God and I are constantly working on forgiving and forgetting. There were times in my past when I was alone, or at least I thought I was. But you know what? God is so good. Sometimes he has to wait on you to realize that, but God is and always will be a good and loving God who wants you to realize YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. God is always here.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)
I did a search on http://www.biblegateway.com/ for the words "never leave you." Over 10 entries popped up right away. Here are two of them.
Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
These two verses alone should make you able to stand up bold and courageous and yell at the top of your lungs. " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!"
FAITH IS A VICTORY, FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
Proverbs 3:4-5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." (NIV)
Let me assure you in 2009 whatever you are going through, whatever comes your way, know God is with you and you are not alone.
My family and I have begun reading the Bible together each night. We call it Bible Time. We read from Psalms, Proverbs and 2-3 other books each night to complete the whole Bible in a year. I'm enjoying this time each night with my family, studying and reading together.
I encourage you to spend time each day hiding God's Word in your heart and praying to him. He created you for fellowship. He wants you to know him and he wants the priviledge of being part of your life. But he will not come in until you open the door and let him in.
Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."(NIV)
Let Him In!!!!
I am here to testify when you place Christ in the center of all you do, there is nothing you cannot do. The foundation you stand on is TRUE AND FIRM, no storms of life will shake you, you will overcome any and all obstacles!
Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)
Happy New Year
Give God the Glory
Make Christ the Center of All you do
and know
You Are Not Alone.
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