Saturday, September 26, 2009

Teaching the Gift of Patience Pays of BIG!!!!! - The Marshmallow Test

I just saw this on CNN, it may be old news to some of you,
but teaching your kids to wait really does pay off  BIG!

Watch the Kids Marshmallow Test.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMkn4J_l9uU

Kids are brought into a room, given one marshmallow and two choices:
Eat it now and that's all you get,
Don't Eat it. Wait until I get back and I'll give you another.

Some of the little ones were eating during the instructions!
Those that wait, they are said to have higher test scores and perform better in school.

Personally, I love the last kid. I want it. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait.
PAYOFF! Now I have TWO!
He then shoves both of them in his mouth at one time!
PURE SATISFACTION!

Now that's a Smart Kid!

End of Month, Living on A Dime, Budget Crunching, Frugal Mom Ideas!

How many of you are feeling the end of the month financial crunch right now?
Raise your hands high!

Oh I thought we were doing so good. I was budgeting, saving, couponing, watching sale ads, stockpiling, etc. I sold my web-business of six years. I was getting ready to kick back and relax a bit.

Our one vehicle, our 2003 Dodge Caravan died yesterday, blew a Head Gasket and a water pump.......
$1500! That with all the end of the month bills, mortgage, etc................
We're still debt free, but only if we REALLY TIGHTEN OUR BELTS!

I know you're with me. You hear me. Most of us are stay-at-home moms on one income.
We do what we can where we can.
I found a few E-books out there worth sharing. Christmas is coming. Begin thinking of creative ways to save and still give gifts that show you care.
Anybody do Once a Month Cooking?
Here's one for you.
Frugal Mom's Guide To Once A Month Cooking
http://ef60ekqgq-568na5xrmvq738fl.hop.clickbank.net/

Love to go out to eat but find it hard to afford?
Check these out!
Home Bound Dining - Restaurant recipes at Home
http://648499lihy9-9u5ko5r6epay2p.hop.clickbank.net/
Pizza Recipe: Secrets From Inside The Pizzeria - making Pizza at Home
http://731c36ldqq633v3nsq4228lz5j.hop.clickbank.net/
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook
http://bd5487mcg1cs3rfbprkw742k6w.hop.clickbank.net/
Secret Restaurant Recipes Cookbook
http://bd882frkpr668m98vf5mmxayb9.hop.clickbank.net/
MunchkinMenus. Relieve Suppertime Stress With Our Amazing Cookbook Including Hundreds Of Easy, Delicious Recipes Your Whole Family Will Love.
http://96d0farkps808p9kz90tzp3k5z.hop.clickbank.net/

Here are two books for all of us who are just too tired to think anymore!
Menu in a Box - 100 Day Menu Planning Kit.
http://6a9dd6jiq4f44o57u784u2rc1r.hop.clickbank.net/
A Month of Meals
http://9fc5fevrf-j4cke6r07c5cpkc3.hop.clickbank.net/

Ok, I'm gaining weight just writing this!
Let's step out of the kitchen and into saving money on everything else!

Living On A Dime - Financial Independence Through Better Life Choices. Publisher Of E-books About Paying Off Debt, Saving Money, Frugal Cooking And Homemaking
http://a5f3bjskqx5v7t89otjmwhq4gt.hop.clickbank.net/

Cheap Organizers: Recycle, Reuse, And Repurpose...
http://d8d25fngc4b39u30hfuidx1pa7.hop.clickbank.net/

I like this idea, put the kids to work for a change!
Jobs For 13 Year Olds: 51 Unique Ways For Kids To Make Money. Looking For Fun Jobs For 13 Year Olds? Here Are 51 Ways Your Kids Can Average $50 Dollars A Week Or More In Their Spare Time. Plus, An Easy-to-follow Guide On Ways To Teach Kids The Value Of A Buck...so They'll Never Be Broke...or Drowning In Debt!
http://d1a8cboqjw5z8pey64u4vz7t1p.hop.clickbank.net/

Here's one we could all use someday!
How To Send Your Child To College Free
http://234899xqpqg3bk6427sziz0qew.hop.clickbank.net/

Ok, that's all for today.
I fired the cook, the landscaper, the housekeeper and the nanny!
ROTFL! (Rolling -on-the-floor-laughing)
Called to be Momma - One who does it all, and if she doesn't know how......... She learns!
Have a good, but frugal weekend,

Friday, September 25, 2009

An update on me and a testimony from one who feels Called to be Momma

Hello all,
I have a special treat for you today.
Yesterday, one of my followers posted her Giving it all to God Testimony on Above Rubies Yahoo Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AboveRubies/

I was so inspired by her story I asked both the writer and the moderators of Above Rubies if I might share it with all of you.
May you be inspired and blessed.

I wanted to give you a quick update on my condition.
My health has not been good this month.

I pinched the same nerve in my left leg twice this month, recovered from it and then last week pinched a nerve in my right shoulder. I am now recovering from it. I don't know how or why it's happening but I'm going to start lifting small weights and doing Yoga type exercises to increase strength and mobility. This may be Arithitis & Cerebral Palsy related.Yes, I have both, the Cerebral Palsy is mild left side, left leg is slightly longer than right leg. Thank you to all of you who offered words of advice and encouragement and prayer.

Monday - I started my Doctor prescribed Progesterone therapy in hopes of carrying another baby.
Prometrium 200 mg, twice a day.
I miscarried in August. My first and hopefully my last miscarriage.

I was trying to self treat symptoms of non-ovulation with progesterone cream. When I got pregnant and stopped using the cream. I didn't know I should have kept using it for 14 weeks, thus I suffered a miscarriage when those progesterone levels dropped too low.
I do not know if we are pregnant. It's too soon.

However, the Prometrium has some side effects, it makes you nauseous, dizzy for about two hours after taking it and it causes weird dreams and nightmares. It wipes me out. I have very little energy right now. I'm taking it twice a day, at lunch and at bedtime.
I lost my lunch yesterday and slept for over two hours.

If my cycle comes this month, I will quit taking it until mid-cycle next month, but if I'm expecting, I will continue on it for the next 14 weeks to try and avoid another miscarriage.

It's a lot to go through, but I don't want to lose another baby.
One day at a time.

I'm afraid to eat much if it might come back up.
One good note, last night on a CVS trip, I found the new Biggest Loser Protein Powder Chocolate and Vanilla for 75% off, $3.75 a can.
It's Whey protein, 50 calories a serving, can be mixed with water.
I will be using it alot!
Please continue to remember me in your prayers.
God will get the Glory from all of this.

Let me introduce you to Siobhan Hannah Gagliardo.
She and her husband have a wonderful inspiring and encouraging story to tell.
They have decided to cancel their internet service, but if you would like, she welcomes you letters and phone calls at
Siobhan Hannah Gagliardo

Home Phone: (845) 480-5345
Address: 197 Sickles Ave Apt F-10
Nyack, NY 10960

Giving it All to God

My husband and I from the day we were married said we didn't want to use contraceptives. We just wanted to trust the Lord. A few months later we were pregnant with our first baby. However, we miscarried after 6 weeks, which was very sad for us. Though a few months later we were pregnant again and this one made it. Praise God! We delivered our first baby boy at HOME on Feb 16, 2008. Then the question of having another baby arose when I got my period back after only four months postpartum. So we weren't sure what to do so we just didn't have intercourse for another four months. So after eight months we just couldn't wait any more and were ONE once again. I got pregnant right away and was just delighted. :) We again delivered at HOME on July 13, 2009. So the thought of having another baby came up before she was even born and especially after she was and we started looking into what Christians believed about birth control. This is how we stumbled upon the Quiver full movement, which evidently lead us to Above Rubies. We have read "Family Unplanning" and I am currently reading "Be Fruitful and Multiply". We are utterly convinced that our faith in the Lord was the biblically the right thing to do even though we chose to do it without knowing that the scriptures commands us to. I praise God for this ministry and it has been such a blessings to read many of all you ladies' posts about your lives. I have been really blessed. :) So we are now fully trusting the Lord with how fruitful my womb will be. I am only two month postpartum and so look forward to the thought of the Lord blessing us again with another baby or babies. :) When we really allow ourselves to be what we were designed to be our natural being really does cry out for what it was intended to be. I really LOVE being pregnant and LOVE giving birth as well. My second birth was just incredible and completely the Lords and mine, together. I totally surrendered myself to the Lord and grew so much with the Lord though the process. I praise and bless the Lord for that wonderful experience. I pray you all would have such experiences with your pregnancies and births. Even though it went so well and I learned so much I know that I will learn new things with each one and I look forward to that. We are really trusting the Lord with our family and the provisions we will need to take care of the blessings he has and will give us.


On a bit of another note I have been blessed by all the godly mindfulness you all have and how you are encouraging one another to keep with the Lord always. We do not have any Christians in our life where we live. We know people abroad that are true believers but no one locally. Its a real hard thing and its really been wearing on us. So I really bless the Lord for you all and the real encouragement you have all been.

Please keep us in pray, those of you who the Lord leads to pray for us.
I must be getting to bed now.
Blessings,
Siobhan
(Wife of Ryan;
Mother of David (19months)
and Lea(2months)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mommas Need Sick Days. Dealing with Sickness, Pain, Hormones and Emotions.

I can almost bet that title got your attention.

The calling to be Momma is a job, but it is like no other job on the planet. 
From the moment of conception to your dying breath, you are on duty.
There are no sick days, you can't just take a personal day. It is 24/7/365.

Your benefit package is seeing the rewards at the end of the journey. Hopefully your house, home, spouse and children will rise up and call you blessed. They will all be happy, self-sufficient, strong and independent individuals, all because you never quit. You prayed. You worked. You cared. You loved.

But there are days when you just want to crawl in the covers or sit in a corner and cry.
We get sick. We hurt. We get tired. We need people to understand. We need a break.
And for most of us, the only one who understands and meets our needs is God.

Matthew 11:28 says,
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (NIV)

For those who have followed my blog, you know I suffered a miscarriage in August. Our sweet Hope went to be with the Lord, and yes, I di think all the measures I took to try and become pregnant caused the loss. I didn't have all the facts about how progesterone works in the body..

Over a month has passed. My cycles have returned to normal. I'm taking my doctor prescribed progesterone supplements as directed, and I'm hopeful God will bless us again. I keep dreaming of a little girl, Sarah.
I want to hold her in my arms.

But there are a few complications.
I have Cerebral Palsy. It is a very mild form that usually only affects my left side. However,my left leg is slightly longer than the other and as I get older arthritis is setting in and my body is not cooperating as well as I would like it too.
Several weeks ago, while working in my yard, I pinched a nerve that affected that left leg. After several days of rest and tylenol, it finally popped back into place bringing much relief. A few days later, while cleaning the house, it happened again. It is easing up, but the tingling shooting pain down the left thigh reminds me to take it easy.
Saturday night, while watching a movie and holding my son, I pinched another nerve in my right shoulder blade. I feel like Frankenstein. I cannot turn my neck or head. My shoulder blades feel like they are folding inward on my spine and my arm feels numb and tingles. I HURT!

Tylenol does not help much, Massages do not help much, and laying down is almost impossible.
To top it all off, this all happened this weekend during the height of my "conception," time.
My hormones are at an all time high!
I feel like crawling in a corner and just crying.
I want to be pregnant again. I want relief. I want somebody to understand.
I want REST!
But life must go on.
Housework and schoolwork must keep going.
Schedules must be maintained.
Meals must be cooked.
Bills must be paid.
The kids need me. My husband needs me.
The Calling to be Momma is one of the best and most rewarding jobs in the whole world.
I love my job, and I thank God for the blessing of children, a good husband and all that God has provided.

It is absolutely amazing what God has done for this family.

I have a wonderful Godly husband who can be relied upon and faithfully goes to work each day to provide well for his family. Not only that, but then he comes home to play with the children and help where he can here.

I have four beautiiful and healthy children, three girls and one boy. They fill my days with joy, mostly, and a reason to get up in the morning. I love watching them grow and learn.

God meets all our financially needs. We are completely debt free, except for the mortgage. We are committed to staying debt free in a world that does not value the concept of,"if you can't afford it, you don't need it, and if you need it, God will provide it." I firmly believe that. God has proven that to me over and over and over.

I am truly blessed and thankful.
But right now, for just a few days, I'd love to just crawl in bed and sleep.
May God heal my weary body and restore my energy.
Pray for me.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Reflections

I woke up yesterday to the sounds of children fussing.
This is not unusual in my house.
Two of my four children are like me. They don't do mornings well.
The youngest and the oldest were at odds with each other.
As I listened to the 12 year old bark at the two year old, my past caught up with me, and a lesson was formed, one I would share in hopes that history would not repeat itself.

When I was 25 years old, I was an assistant manager for a department store. I was a recent college graduate, and I thought I RULED THE NEST, and I let everybody know it.
I was one of the meanest, red power suit wearing bosses in the history of working women's history!
I didn't delegate, I dictated!
What did it get me?
Probably several nicknames I never want to hear.
I made very few friends, but I'm sure I had lots of enemies.

That made me remember something else from my childhood.
My dad was a police officer, but he wasn't your typical," in your face I wear a badge, let me push my authority on you law officer."
I don't ever remember my dad being mean......to anyone, ever!
Dad had a reputation for being the "go to man."
The one people knew would do right by them.
One of his jobs was being in charge of the, "trustees," (that's people in jail for me and you).
He gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Instead of letting them set all day in jail, he gave prisoners a chance to redeem themselves by getting outside, mowing, raking, washing cars, etc. He never said much. You just knew with him, this is my chance, don't mess up. If you did, well, you didn't get another chance, back to the cell you went.

But I can bet very few ever messed up, and many were very appreciative that this man was kind and considered them as individuals who deserved good care, respect and a chance at redemption.
Daddy was highly respected and leaves behind a legacy for future officers to hopefully follow in his footsteps.

I wish I had remembered that when I was playing, "rooster of the henhouse," as a 25 year old department store manager. The only legacy I left behind was, "Yay! she's gone! Good Riddance." I have nothing to show for those years except for all the grief I caused people and the fact I have few friends now reminds me that I had a lot to learn. I have learned, and I'm sorry.

Now I'm Momma, and as my daughter enters her teen years I see the same struggle in her as I had growing up. How do we delegate without dictating? How do you show you are in charge and responsible without coming across as a tyrant and an oger.
The answer..........
My husband tells the kids, "you catch more flies with honey than with vinager."
That's it.
That's the key.
Kindness, Respect and Patience.......
Dissernment, good judgement.

Take a look at the people you admire most. Why do you admire them? More than likely you admire them for their character and their heart.
Take Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar for example. I watched Michelle give birth to one of the 18 on TV a few years ago. She wasn't screaming in agonizing pain, she was blessing God, praying and rejoicing over the new little one she was delivering.
We never see them yell. I've never seen a mean side, and I can almost bet that what you see on TV is quite real with this family. Michelle and Jim Bob are very patient, very kind, very loving, very REAL on camera and off camera. This character has earned them respect with each other, their children, their family and nearly everyone who meets them.

What is it they are really showing us?
The heart of Christ.
Many people take to heart the writings of Paul the Apostle in the New Testament.
The greastest goal we can ever reach for is becoming more and more like Jesus Christ himself, running the good race and running it with all our might.
I want to finish well. Don't you?

My daughter will have to figure out for herself through her struggles and trials that to be like Christ is the key to everything. Having the heart, the compassion, the love, that will take you so far.
Jesus never dictated. He was never a tyrant nor an oger.
He was a friend........ and leaves with all of us a living legacy that will last eternity.
The best way to gain respect is to LOVE.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1Corinthians 13:13 NIV

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Change is in the Air - Autumn is upon us - Time to Organize

I noticed this past weekend that the Red Leaf Maples are beginning to change their color. Those beautiful fiery red leaves can only mean one thing....... AUTUMN! The Hot Summer is on it's way out and the cool breezes of Fall are slowing coming in.
For me, this signals a time to slow down, get organized and prepare for the upcoming holidays and settle down into our yearly school/home routines.
There are many ways to get organized, and there are numerous people out to help you get the job done.

FlyLady - http://www.flylady.net/ - When it comes to cleaning and organizing, these ladies mean business.
I've heard people refer to Homeschool as the Homeschool World or Homeschool Community. The Quiverfull are know as the Quiverfull World or Quiverfull Community, same thing with SAHM (Stay-at-Home-Moms), and WAHM, (Work-at-Home-Moms). Well, now add a new one to your vocabulary, FlyLady.
They say they are your personal online coaches to help you gain control of your house and home.
There are many FlyLady sites, yahoo groups, forums, blogs, etc. Each one will offer you numerous tips to declutter, organize and improve the quality of your caotic life.

Managers of the Home - Managers of Their Homes: A Practical Guide to Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschool Families - offered by Steve and Teri Maxwell at http://www.titus2.com/
You might have heard about this system if you follow the Duggars. This is what Michelle Duggar used when the show 18 Kids and Counting first began to air on TLC years ago, although then it was only called 14 Kids and Pregnant Again. Congradulations are in order to Michelle. She announced #19 is due in March 2010.
You can read all about that at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32630876/ .
Anyway, back to Managers of the Home. If you are a home-schooler and need a way to organize house, home, school, and chores, Teri will teach you some great strategies to becoming a Super Organized, Super Mom. However, there is a catch. Back in my Early Childhood Teaching days, before being Called to be Momma, I worked in the daycare/childcare industry. We had this saying, " We have a schedule, but the babies can't read it!"
You may develope this beautiful, wonderful, precise, totally organized schedule, cleaning routine, chore chart, menu and grocery list on paper......... but getting the family to follow your little book of plans make take some effort. The chart may be on the wall, but unless it is taught and followed, becomes a discipline and routine, it will not work.
A Home-School or Stay at Home Family is only as organized and disciplined as the Momma.
It all falls to you being committed to setting up a stable and consistent routine. I've learned children do so much better when they know what to expect. Mommas do better too when things go according to plan. Don't expect it to happen everyday, but make it your goal anyway.

I heard a new term this summer. Minimalist - A Minimalist is someone who gets rid of everything they don't need. There's a blog called Zenhabits, http://zenhabits.net/ , I don't like the name. I will tell you right away that I am a Christian with a very strong belief in Faith and Trust in God. But the Zenhabits blog will give you the basic principles of living the Minimalist lifestyle, declutter your life, your home and living simple.
I found the story of one Christian woman who sounds alot like most of us. She works from home, raises her children , and is trying her best to manage it all. Read her story and how she became a minimalist. It's inspiring. Christa's Story -  http://www.becomingminimalist.com/2009/06/30/christas-story/

Find what works for you.
Each one of us are different.
Each of us are Called for a different purpose.
What's right for me, may not be right for you, and that's ok.
However, we are all basically doing the same thing, as we are all Called to be Mommas.
We are raising our children to the best of our abilities.
We are managing house/home/social committments. Some of us can add work and religion to that list.
We're all striving to do better and be better.

As the winds of change take you into the seasons of life, search your heart for what you are really looking for.
Do you need to work on your relationship with God? Your Husband? Your Children? Your Friends?
Do you need to improve your quality of life by decluttering, getting your priorities in order, organizing and scheduling?
Would it help to set up a constant routine for your house, home and family?
What about a quiet time with God each day? Don't Forget to set aside a little time for yourself each day too!
Do you have debt? Are there things you can cut back on and do without to help pay off that debt?
Take a look at my other blogs. One will help you save money on groceries and things you buy.
http://www.couponsformom.blogspot.com/
The other will give you options for finding ways to earn money at home.
http://www.webworkinghome.blogspot.com/

As for me, I'm doing my own minimalizing. Cutting back on things I don't need, cutting coupons, cutting back on my committments, setting up routines and schedules and spending more time with my husband and children. Like the leaves on the red leaf maple tree. My life is turning out beautiul!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Lesson Learned - Do you know the facts about progesterone?

So many of you out there are like myself.
You love being Momma.
There's nothing like feeling a baby's first kicks within the womb,
(and of course the "conceiving" with your husband is nice too!)

But I love the whole experience!
Time with my husband
Conceiving
First heartbeats
First kicks
The flood of joy when the baby is delivered!
And holding that new baby...........
Watching them grow, change, learn and live!
It's the best job in the world!

I'm called to be Momma and I love it!
Even on those days that seem so long, I realize how blessed I am to have four beautiful healthy children.
Thank you Lord for the blessing of my children.

This past summer, I learned a hard lesson.
When it comes to my health and monthly cycles, I'm usually consistent.
Every 28 days, that visitor knocks on my door.

Back in the Spring, this family had some big changes.
We moved into our new home, and at the same time there were some extended family issues that combined with all that was going on with the move and settling in, made life extremely stressful for me.

I should have given it all to God, laid it all at His feet and walked away. I didn't do that.
I let it get to me......and my health suffered.
In May, my cycle was only 26 days.
In June, 25 days.

I wanted more children.
I wasn't ready for this peri-menopause, pre-menopause.
I'm not ready to shut that door.

So, I did what probably most of you do too, I began looking for answers and way to fix things.
I made an appointment with my OB/GYN, but I couldn't get in for almost two months.
This was June and I couldn't get in to see my doctor until July 24.
I struggle with patience. No! I want it fixed now!

So I turned to ever faithful internet and forums and groups for answers.
Here's what I found, and what I did.
I bought vitamins and started taking
Prenatal Vitamins
B-Complex
Folic Acid
Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc
Iron

I also read about Vitex/Chasteberry, a supplement to help improve fertility. I was taking it too on days 1-14,
and then to to top it all off, I read about using natural progesterone cream on days after ovulation to extend the fertile period. So, I was doing that too. I'd stop the Vitex on day 14 and start using the cream on all my pressure points day 14-21, but I would stop using the cream on day 21 to wait and see if a cycle would come or to see if I was pregnant. I was determined to get back to normal 28 day cycles and get pregnant again!

What joy I experienced July 10, 2009 when my pregnancy test read postive!!!!!
Yea!! Thank you God! #5! Oh my goodness!!! I was elated!
It worked!
I was healed!
I was pregnant and all was well!

I continued to take the vitamins but no longer used the Vitex or progesterone cream. I didn't need it anymore. I was pregnant.

On Saturday night, August 8, 2009, I began spotting.
I had never experienced this before, but I knew what it was.
I was 8 weeks pregnant.
Maybe I had just over done it that day. Maybe if I slow down and rest............
After church Sunday, things began to get worse.
I called the doctor. They told me to go to the ER.
I spent the afternoon in the ER. They examined me, took blood, ran sonograms.

The sonogram showed a sac at 5 weeks, not 8 weeks, no heartbeat.
Monday night, God allowed everything to happen naturally.

Tuesday, as I began sharing with all of you on groups and forums,
some of you knew what I did not..............

If you use progesterone to help regulate your cycles and you become pregnant, you must CONTINUE using progesterone until week 14 of your pregnancy. At that point, the body should begin making the progesterone on its own. I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my fault.............

I was being so selfish, so determined. I didn't leave it in God's hands. I took it into my own hands, and my lack of knowledge...................... I caused this.......................

The grief, at first was overwhelming.
If I had just waited for God or maybe the doctor and God working together.
I should have never taken the Vitex or used the cream. I had no business trying to do this on my own!

Some of the facts I've learned.......
Progesterone is the hormone that helps build, nurture and establish the Uterine wall for implantation of an egg. Each month, after ovulation, your body slows the production of progesterone. If you are pregnant, normally the levels will stay a little higher and begin increasing. If you are not pregnant, the levels continue dropping until a monthly cycle occurs.

If you are using progesterone creams or supplements and abruptly stop, your body receives a signal that it's time for a monthly cycle, pregnant or not, your body registers that progesterone production has stopped, and it's time for a cycle.

This is also what happens with birth control pills. Days 1-20 of birth control pills contain a level of progesterone, but days 21-28, when you take the placebo or no pill at all, the body is signaled that it's time for a cycle. YOU CAN GET PREGNANT ON THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL!!!!!

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar talk about this in their book, " Twenty and Counting." After they had Joshua, they decided to wait awhile before having more children. She conceived while taking the pill and had a miscarriage. they too, were informed the truth about the effects of progesterone. You can get pregnant on the pill, but even if you get pregnant, as soon as those progesterone levels drop below a certain level, you are going to have a cycle, pregnant or not.

They grieved!! I grieved!!
Lord, we are so sorry.
We should have left it all in your hands.

I rejoice with the Duggars as they have announced that #19 is due March 2010.
The Lord has blessed them so for trusting in Him.
May God get all the glory!

Where do I go from here?
I've asked God and my husband to forgive me.
I should have left it all in God's hands.
I should have been more respectful and honoring to both God and my husband,
I should have been submissive.
I should have been patient.

For all of you out there considering using Vitex and Progesterone Creams to help you get pregnant, or if you are currently using these things............. Please take my story to heart.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Roman 8:28 NIV

I'm laying everything at God's feet.
May He alone get the Glory,
Amy

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Lessons in Life - Hope

So many of us are experiencing changes. Changes in jobs, changes in finances, changes in health, changes in life............
2009 has brought many changes to our family: a new house, new responsibilities, a few new friends, a pregnancy....and a miscarriage.

I was so excited! I wanted another child so much. We have four so far: three girls 12, 8,5 and our little boy who is 2.
On July 10, 2009, we found out our newest little blessing was on its way and due to arrive in March 2010.
However, one month later, August 10, 2009, this little one went to be with Jesus.
It has been a very hard adjustment for us. I'll write more on my thoughts and feelings in future posts.

but for now, If I may, I want to share with you what my husband wrote for a memorial service we had here with a few of our friends. For all of you out there who have experienced this loss that no one else can understand unless they too have experienced it. May these words comfort us all.
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I've been thinking and thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and I knew I needed to do something but wasn't sure what. It wasn't that I felt an emotional need to closure or release or anything like that. It was just that something felt not quite right. I tried to express it to my friends like this - "It doesn't seem right that someone should pass through this world and noone acknowledge it." And even that doesn't fully express what's on my heart. I just don't know quite how to say it.


Knowing that our get together was tonight, I went to bed with that on my mind. And while I slept, I had a dream. I was talking to a man about various things, and was impressed with his answers. At one point during the conversation, I look directly at him, and I realize that it's Jesus. I immediately stop talking and grab him and hug him. Tears flow from my eyes and "I love you" comes from my lips. "Do you really?" he asks me. The verse "if you love me, you will keep my commandments" springs to my mind, and I begin to think of all of the things that I do and know I shouldn't, and all of the things that I don't do and know I should. I search that depths of my heart and return with the answer "yes," fearing what his response will be. He looks into my eyes with love and replies "then feed my sheep." At this point, my stupid phone goes off and I am abruptly woken up to take care of some stuff that's running late at work.

As I sit in front of my computer waiting for things to finish, I can't escape the realism of my dream. I ponder how I fail to measure up to God's standards and yet he loves and accepts me anyway. And how he loves and calls to others too, even those who hate him. In him we have hope, for we are called his children. We are brought into relationship with God and are given a promise and a future.

As I ponder what being in the family of God really means, and bearing his name, it dawns on me one of the things that has been bothering me. My baby doesn't have a name. My baby passed through our lives and changed them forever, and we haven't given it a name. We don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. But it was here, for however brief a time, and it made a difference and an impact, and it mattered to someone.

I tried to think of a name, of all of the things that had been rolling through my mind, and the name that seems most appropriate to me is Hope. We don't know what has happened to our child, but our trust is in the one who always knows the truth and does what's right. He loves us. He cares for us. He has made us His children. Our hope is with God.