Called to be Momma, Experiencing Burn Out - How Do We Cope? Needing Encouragement, Rest and Understanding, Please Respond Back

Hello everyone,
It's been awhile since I wrote personally.
So much is going on right now.

I sold Another Blessing on September 15, and took a writing job with
 Suite 101 the end of September.
It was my intention to simply slow down a bit, down size, and write a little bit everyday for Suite 101 and my blogs, build a new income source and spend more time with my husband and children. I need rest.
I'm homeschooling all 4 of my children and 2 neices year round without a break, while still continuing to write and work from home, and manage the home. I'm working on losing weight and improving my health and yes, I'm hoping the Lord will bless us again with another child. It all adds up. my days are full. You know you've had enough when you just want to crawl in bed and be left alone. It shouldn't be like this. It's bad to get to this point, and once you're there, something is gotta change.

I enjoy writing, but I don't want to self promote. I'd like to just write and if they read, they read. If you read something you like, please share with others, let them know I'm here, but I just don't want to self-promote.
For 6 years, I built and ran Another Blessing as a business/ministry, but in order for it to be a success, I was constantly on Yahoo Groups promoting it to moms. I spent hours everyday reading and answering emails about home-schooling, quiverfull, being a stay at home mom, pregnancy and fertility issues. I dealt with controversial topics and personal convictions, and legalism on a daily basis. I don't want to do that anymore.

I am quiverfull. I will not deny that. In fact I'm a very outspoken person on the subject, GOD IS IN CONTROL! But if you've kept up with my blog over the last few months, you know that two months ago when we lost our little Hope.............. everything changed for me.

I know many of you have written to me letting me know not to blame myself, that God could have stopped the miscarriage, that this baby just wasn't meant to be. Maybe, only God knows for sure.
But in my heart I feel it was my mistake. one I paid for dearly. Instead of trusting God to meet that desire for another little one, I took matters into my own hands. I researched ways to increase ovulation and lengthen my fertile time. I took Vitex and used Progesterone Cream. I was eating spinach and yams in hopes of conceiving twins and took every vitamin I read would help with fertility.

To be quiverfull means to trust God with your fertility, and I didn't trust him to fix things, I took matters into my own hands. I immediately got pregnant, just as I hoped, but I made a big mistake. See I didn't know that if you are using Progesterone and conceive, you need to continue using Progesterone for about the next 14 weeks of pregnancy. At that point, the body starts producing it all on its own. Without a stable level of Progesterone in the body, the body will start a monthly cycle. I learned this information too late. I learned that Progesterone cream could help you in the conception process, but once I found out I was pregnant, I stopped using it thinking I would harm my precious baby. If I'd only known, maybe just maybe I'd still be pregnant today.

I should have just left it all in God's hands to begin with. I love watching the Duggar family, and the main reason why, they put it all in God's hands and welcoming everything that comes with it. What trust and faith they have. Why can't we be like that? I should be like that. I should be studying my Bible daily and praying throughout my day,

"Lord guide me. Show me how to do what it is you want me to do, and show me how to truly trust in your provisions. You know my heart's desires, but you also know what's best for me. Help me be at peace and find contentment in all that is mine today. Help me  be thankful and glad and to rejoice in what has been given to me instead of reaching for what I do not have." amen.

Dear readers, I'm tired, and I think I'm tired because I'm trying to do too much. I'm trying to do so much in my own strength when I should just be crawling into Savior's arms and letting Him who knows me best meet all my needs.
I'm going to keep Called to be Momma going, but I'm going to combine Coupons for Mom and WebWorking Home on the sidebar here somehow. I think maybe twice a week, maybe on Monday and Wednesdays, I'll run shopping deals on here. I'll post CVS, Walgreens, Target and Kroger deals for you to follow. I'll put the online coupon sources on this sidebar and you can still print coupons online from my site. On Tuesdays, I'll post Work at Home opportunities for those of you looking for online jobs. Then Thursday - Sunday or as the mood hits, this is still a place for encouragement and inspiration to all who feel the Call to be Momma.
I want to keep it going, but I need to simplify and I'm asking for you the readers to do the promoting. Please just let me write, and if you like what I write or think it can help someone, you are welcome to share it with others.
Thank you for helping me. I love the fact that I can write to express my thoughts and know someone is listening and reading and responding. We're helping each other.

Right after the miscarriage, on the Yahoo Groups, I was flooded with emails after emails from readers who had gone through miscarriage too, some many times. I'm not at a place in my life where I can accept my miscarriage was God's will. It was my mistake. Even Michelle Duggar only speaks of one miscarriage out of 20 pregnancies! Only one, and it was due to being on the birth control pill. Again, taking matters into one's own hands. She and Jim Bob grieved at that mistake and turned everything over to God. Look at what God's done in their lives!!! They are blessed immensly and the blessings just keep coming. Every personal or financial need they have is being met through God's provisions and they give God all the Glory. They are beautiful to watch and learn from, because I see them doing what I should be doing. Trusting and Walking with God my Father in Faith, Joy and Happiness.

I can't keep going at the pace I'm going.
I like writing for Suite 101, and I plan to continue doing so. I hope to eventually gain a following and replace the income I was earnning with Another Blessing.

I'm going to drop all the Yahoo Groups today except for the coupon trains, freecycle and my local homeschool group and my group Biggest Loser Mommas. I think eventually, I'll drop the coupon trains as well, I just can't keep up with all of it.  I need to slow down and trust God will meet all our needs and he knows the desires of my heart.

Maybe you have felt this way too, now or in the past. We're home-schooling, managing the home and paying bills. Some of us are working from home too. Some of us are battling health issues, or spiritual issues, or both.  How do you deal and cope with all that is on your plate? Who do you talk to? Who listens? Who helps? For me, I've found in most cases I can't find anybody but God who understands.
I started this blog a year ago in hopes of finding others who could relate, who would understand, who I could talk to. I started this blog a year ago to hopefully get my friends here to read and understand me better, but the truth is, most of those people I hoped would read my blog, don't. They still don't understand, and probably never will. I know God does though, and some of you do too. Thank you.
May we continue to help each other.

For now I leave with this,
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
What a Friend We Have in Jesus
Feel free to email me or leave a comment,
Amy
wingfieldfamily@gmail.com