Hello everyone,
It's been a long journey to get back here.
We officially moved into the new house March 27, 2009.
However, we just got reconnected to internet yesterday. There was no service here. We had to have new lines dug.
The house is absolutely beautiful and perfect: 5 bedrooms/2 ba, a 2 car garage, my kitchen and our office are in the center of the home.
We have a dining room and a great room to entertain and host small groups in.
We have a total of 1.3 acreas and we are almost entirely secluded back here in our little corner of the new subdivision.
It's like living in the country but we are minutes away from our church, Wal-mart and the bank, and 10 minutes away from the "big" city of Longview where my husband works and our home-school group is.
We have a huge wrap around back porch, our house sits on a hill and there is a lake we can see at the very back of our property.
We bought the kids playground today and we will be landscaping here in the next two months or so, getting grass growing, bushes, roses, etc.
God has been so good to us, we are completely debt free except for the mortgage, and even that is pretty good, we are living comfortably on my husband's salary.
I'm still running www.anotherblessing.com which helps pay for the kids music and sewing lessons, my cell phone and hopefully soon a second car so we don't have to share.
I took over the education of my two nieces in the midst of all this.
I have 4 children: Lisa (11), Ariel, (8), Amelia (5), Michael (2), I homeschool all of them.
My neices are Adalina (5) and Leeanne(4)
For those of you that don't know me, I'm a Christian, Conservative, Quiverfull, Homeschooling, Keeper at Home, Stay at Home mom and Work at Home mom and have been since 2000.
I enjoy reading books about Amish/Mennonites, Listening to Christian Music, watching cooking shows and cooking, and learning about the Duggars and other Large Christian Families. I teach Sunday School, dress modestly, and maintain our family budget with the use of www.angelfoodministries.com, coupons, schedules, routines and menus
We had to get all new emails, phone numbers, etc.
So please let everyone know I'm still here and pulling it all back together.
Thanks so much.
Amy Wingfield
3400 Woodview Lane
Kilgore, Texas 75662
wingfieldfamily@gmail.com
www.anotherblessing.com
I'll post pictures of the house and land and family as I can, keep checking back, I'll post as often as I can.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Where do you go for Encouragement and Support? The Answer Has Always Been Right Here With You, By Your Side...... Waiting on You.
Hello everyone.
Maybe I've inspired you. If so I'm glad.
May you continue to seek, grow, live and learn God loves you.
The Encouragement and Support You Desire Has Always Been Right Here With you,
Waiting on You.
"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalms 121:2"
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8"
I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3
I just finished reading the book Susanna by Glen Williamson, the story of Susanna Wesley.
I hope to read more books like this one soon.
Susanna Wesley was the mother of John and Charles Wesley, She was pregnant 17 times, two sets of twins both died, 6 others died right after birth, of the 9 living, 1 dies while she is in childbirth, most of all the girls have bad marriages or no marriage, but through all the hardships of poverty, great debt and great sorrow throughout their lives both Susanna and her husband, Samuel, stayed strong in their faith and convictions.
The lessons I learned from reading this book are, in my opinion, unmeasurable. Throughout the past 8 years, I have WANTED and LONGED to find someone to understand that I have given everything, every aspect of my life over to God. He is in control and we should trust in Him.
I have not found that person yet, nor do I think I ever will.
I do not know another person in East Texas that believes as I do. I'm sure they are out there, but for whatever reason, God has kept us from each other. I guess he needs to deal with each of us in His own way and in His own time. Maybe, when we are ready, he'll bring us together.
Reading the book, talking to other couples, I observed how Susanna Wesley and her husband Samuel a minister, and my own minister and his wife share nothing personal about their lives with anyone but God. They take everything to God. They don't share their burdens or their problems with anyone but each other and God.
Other than my occasional writing, I'm beginning to feel that is what God is asking of me.
It's like, "Amy, you've been looking in the wrong places for your support and encouragement. Come to ME!"
God is to be my best friend in the whole universe next to my husband. God and my husband should be the ones I talk everything over with. God should be the one I take every need, desire, want, and petition to.
In my case, I often lack patience, contentment, trust and security. These are the things I've learned to ask God for.
"Lord please give me the peace that passeth all understanding. Help me to remain strong in my faith. Please continue to give me patience, contentment, knowledge and wisdom. Help me to be a good wife, mother and friend. Take all my hurts and past scars and fill me with your loving grace. Guide me in the way I should go dear Lord. I am yours and you are mine. Thank you Lord for choosing me and loving me." Amen
I'm posting less and less now. But my friendship with God and my husband are growing. I desire to know God better through his Word and through my prayer time. My husband and I are learning to be life long friends now, even if we don't agree on everything, we are learning to have a little grace with each other and we talk to God a lot!
Do I still want a friend to visit with? Yes, of course.
Do I absolutely need others to understand me? No, I have God and I have my husband.
God as blessed me with so much, my salvation, my husband, my children, and God meets all of our needs. I stand in awe at the works of his hands.
He fills me with his Words, especially Psalms,& Proverbs, and most of the books written by Paul, I love listening to Christian music and being inspired by the Holy Spirit through the words of the music.
I pray and I watch, I listen and I learn, and slowly, ever so slowly, only in God's timing,
The emptiness I once felt is slowly being replaced by a love and grace and peace that no human could ever give,
My greatest support and encouragement in what I feel called and led to do comes from God.
I hope these words have inspired you to go to God first.
I'm not saying don't write to us here or don't email each other.
We always like hearing from each other.
I'd love to visit personally with each and everyone one of you in my own home. I love having people in my home to talk things over with them.
But in these most hardest issues of personal convictions and issues concerning one's calling and beliefs,
I'm learning the one who will encourage you and support you the most is the one who did the calling in the first place;
God the father, Jesus Christ, Savior and Lord
You are going to have obstacles.
People are going to be cruel, insensitive, downright rude.
Some may think you've gone nuts, crazy, fanatical, etc.
It doesn't matter what other people think, say or do.
Keep your eyes on Christ, make Jesus the center of your life.
As women, be devoted to God, your husbands and your families.
Stay strong in your faith and your convictions that you are doing exactly what God has planned for you to do.
What's right for me may not be right for you, and that's ok. God has a special plan for each of us.
We all have special jobs to do within the body to work together in Christ for the glory of the Lord.
Not all of us can be a foot or an eye.
Not all of us are called to be stay at home moms, home-schoolers or keepers at home.
You are always going to run into people who do not understand your choices or your life...... But you don't understand theirs either.
One of the greatest things I think I will someday accomplish is when I mature enough in Christ to love everyone despite our differences and disagreements. I'm not there yet, I humbly admit that. I'm still wanting everyone to understand me, but maybe someday................
For now, it's a season of isolation time, as I learn to lean first, and foremost, on God for my support, encouragement and strength and second, on my husband as we grow old together.
To God be the Glory,
Amy Wingfield
wingfieldfamily@cablelynx.com
http://www.anotherblessing.com/
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
"You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry," Psalms 10:17
"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. " Deuteronomy 8:3
"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalms 121:2
" The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
" I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3
Maybe I've inspired you. If so I'm glad.
May you continue to seek, grow, live and learn God loves you.
The Encouragement and Support You Desire Has Always Been Right Here With you,
Waiting on You.
"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalms 121:2"
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8"
I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3
I just finished reading the book Susanna by Glen Williamson, the story of Susanna Wesley.
I hope to read more books like this one soon.
Susanna Wesley was the mother of John and Charles Wesley, She was pregnant 17 times, two sets of twins both died, 6 others died right after birth, of the 9 living, 1 dies while she is in childbirth, most of all the girls have bad marriages or no marriage, but through all the hardships of poverty, great debt and great sorrow throughout their lives both Susanna and her husband, Samuel, stayed strong in their faith and convictions.
The lessons I learned from reading this book are, in my opinion, unmeasurable. Throughout the past 8 years, I have WANTED and LONGED to find someone to understand that I have given everything, every aspect of my life over to God. He is in control and we should trust in Him.
I have not found that person yet, nor do I think I ever will.
I do not know another person in East Texas that believes as I do. I'm sure they are out there, but for whatever reason, God has kept us from each other. I guess he needs to deal with each of us in His own way and in His own time. Maybe, when we are ready, he'll bring us together.
Reading the book, talking to other couples, I observed how Susanna Wesley and her husband Samuel a minister, and my own minister and his wife share nothing personal about their lives with anyone but God. They take everything to God. They don't share their burdens or their problems with anyone but each other and God.
Other than my occasional writing, I'm beginning to feel that is what God is asking of me.
It's like, "Amy, you've been looking in the wrong places for your support and encouragement. Come to ME!"
God is to be my best friend in the whole universe next to my husband. God and my husband should be the ones I talk everything over with. God should be the one I take every need, desire, want, and petition to.
In my case, I often lack patience, contentment, trust and security. These are the things I've learned to ask God for.
"Lord please give me the peace that passeth all understanding. Help me to remain strong in my faith. Please continue to give me patience, contentment, knowledge and wisdom. Help me to be a good wife, mother and friend. Take all my hurts and past scars and fill me with your loving grace. Guide me in the way I should go dear Lord. I am yours and you are mine. Thank you Lord for choosing me and loving me." Amen
I'm posting less and less now. But my friendship with God and my husband are growing. I desire to know God better through his Word and through my prayer time. My husband and I are learning to be life long friends now, even if we don't agree on everything, we are learning to have a little grace with each other and we talk to God a lot!
Do I still want a friend to visit with? Yes, of course.
Do I absolutely need others to understand me? No, I have God and I have my husband.
God as blessed me with so much, my salvation, my husband, my children, and God meets all of our needs. I stand in awe at the works of his hands.
He fills me with his Words, especially Psalms,& Proverbs, and most of the books written by Paul, I love listening to Christian music and being inspired by the Holy Spirit through the words of the music.
I pray and I watch, I listen and I learn, and slowly, ever so slowly, only in God's timing,
The emptiness I once felt is slowly being replaced by a love and grace and peace that no human could ever give,
My greatest support and encouragement in what I feel called and led to do comes from God.
I hope these words have inspired you to go to God first.
I'm not saying don't write to us here or don't email each other.
We always like hearing from each other.
I'd love to visit personally with each and everyone one of you in my own home. I love having people in my home to talk things over with them.
But in these most hardest issues of personal convictions and issues concerning one's calling and beliefs,
I'm learning the one who will encourage you and support you the most is the one who did the calling in the first place;
God the father, Jesus Christ, Savior and Lord
You are going to have obstacles.
People are going to be cruel, insensitive, downright rude.
Some may think you've gone nuts, crazy, fanatical, etc.
It doesn't matter what other people think, say or do.
Keep your eyes on Christ, make Jesus the center of your life.
As women, be devoted to God, your husbands and your families.
Stay strong in your faith and your convictions that you are doing exactly what God has planned for you to do.
What's right for me may not be right for you, and that's ok. God has a special plan for each of us.
We all have special jobs to do within the body to work together in Christ for the glory of the Lord.
Not all of us can be a foot or an eye.
Not all of us are called to be stay at home moms, home-schoolers or keepers at home.
You are always going to run into people who do not understand your choices or your life...... But you don't understand theirs either.
One of the greatest things I think I will someday accomplish is when I mature enough in Christ to love everyone despite our differences and disagreements. I'm not there yet, I humbly admit that. I'm still wanting everyone to understand me, but maybe someday................
For now, it's a season of isolation time, as I learn to lean first, and foremost, on God for my support, encouragement and strength and second, on my husband as we grow old together.
To God be the Glory,
Amy Wingfield
wingfieldfamily@cablelynx.com
http://www.anotherblessing.com/
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
"You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry," Psalms 10:17
"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. " Deuteronomy 8:3
"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalms 121:2
" The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
" I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Power of Encouraging Words - You've Got Something to say! Please say it!
I've been blogging now off and on since October 2008, and for me, it's not just merely a avenue of self expression. It's a way of reaching out, sometimes to get back what I'm needing and sometimes giving what I think needs to be given. I've got something to say!
But so do you!
Many of my friends and aquaintances don't understand this blogging. Man! I've got people in my life that don't even know how to use a computer, or have one and don't use it, they're missing out!
What are they missing out on?
Internet hugs, support in unusual ways, connection with the outside world, realizing we are not alone in our struggles, others are going through similar trials. Encouraging words of love and support just when you need them in a way that's just right for you.
Everytime I write, I think........ "I wonder if they'll read it. Why do I keep doing it? I bet if I quit writing, nobody would even miss me." (There's a huge pity party going on here, but it drives me CRAZY!)
I write because it is the easiest way for me to communicate what I'm feeling.
To those who don't know me very well...... yet. I am a 37 year old mother of 4 so far. I home-school all of them and my two neices, run my own online business, maintain house and home, help where I can when I can, oh and by the way.......... I have a mild form of cerebral palsy.
I don't let it slow me down much though. Oh no. I've got too much to do and say and experience.
However, it does get in my way sometimes.
There are times when my brain knows exactly what it's trying to communicate but the mouth and the body send out a completely different message.
For example, my two year old just woke up in a Horrible mood. I meant to hit SAVE and continue writing this later. I hit PUBLISH.
So, let's try this again.
I'm often mis-understood, and it gets really frustrating.
I have one friend who constantly mis-reads my words, actions and emotions. Continually trying to explain my real intentions or thoughts or feelings is exhausting.
As I said in an my previous post, I'm currently reading Stepping Heavenward by Mrs E.Prentiss. It's a wonderful, inspiring book for any woman going through changes, trials and tough times.
I know each one of us have our own story to share.
Mrs. Prentiss wrote Stepping Heavenward in a journal format. The main character is Kate, who begins writing this journal on her sixteenth birthday and allows us to follow her journey heavenward through her life as a young girl, wife, mother and daughter to God. She learns through her struggles, only God can truly set you free. Only in God can you find true happiness, and it's only when you learn to depend solely on him and give your life away to serving Him and helping others that you find the true meaning of life in this world, LOVE. And that LOVE, His LOVE leads you to a life of fullfillment more than you can ever imagine.
Remember the person I spoke of that often mis-understands me?
Kate has many people like that in her life, as do all of us. What did she learn through each trial and struggle?
She prayed.
God, give the strength to love them. Show me how to love them.
and he does just that.
So I will keep writing, and I will keep explaining myself, and I will continue to pray," God show me how to love them more and more."
Thank you to each and everyone of you who take a moment to read this blog, and follow along with me on my journey. Thank you for your comments. They mean so much to me. Without these comments, I doubt I would continue on, but we all need inspiring. We all need encouragement and support, each in our own way. May we continue to grow and journey together.
You've got something to say - say it!!
We'll never truly know the impact we make on this world until Jesus' face we see.
until then...... enjoy the youtube video I've posted here
The song and lyrics
You've got Something to Say by Matthew West.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSVGocVpLko
Amy
But so do you!
Many of my friends and aquaintances don't understand this blogging. Man! I've got people in my life that don't even know how to use a computer, or have one and don't use it, they're missing out!
What are they missing out on?
Internet hugs, support in unusual ways, connection with the outside world, realizing we are not alone in our struggles, others are going through similar trials. Encouraging words of love and support just when you need them in a way that's just right for you.
Everytime I write, I think........ "I wonder if they'll read it. Why do I keep doing it? I bet if I quit writing, nobody would even miss me." (There's a huge pity party going on here, but it drives me CRAZY!)
I write because it is the easiest way for me to communicate what I'm feeling.
To those who don't know me very well...... yet. I am a 37 year old mother of 4 so far. I home-school all of them and my two neices, run my own online business, maintain house and home, help where I can when I can, oh and by the way.......... I have a mild form of cerebral palsy.
I don't let it slow me down much though. Oh no. I've got too much to do and say and experience.
However, it does get in my way sometimes.
There are times when my brain knows exactly what it's trying to communicate but the mouth and the body send out a completely different message.
For example, my two year old just woke up in a Horrible mood. I meant to hit SAVE and continue writing this later. I hit PUBLISH.
So, let's try this again.
I'm often mis-understood, and it gets really frustrating.
I have one friend who constantly mis-reads my words, actions and emotions. Continually trying to explain my real intentions or thoughts or feelings is exhausting.
As I said in an my previous post, I'm currently reading Stepping Heavenward by Mrs E.Prentiss. It's a wonderful, inspiring book for any woman going through changes, trials and tough times.
I know each one of us have our own story to share.
Mrs. Prentiss wrote Stepping Heavenward in a journal format. The main character is Kate, who begins writing this journal on her sixteenth birthday and allows us to follow her journey heavenward through her life as a young girl, wife, mother and daughter to God. She learns through her struggles, only God can truly set you free. Only in God can you find true happiness, and it's only when you learn to depend solely on him and give your life away to serving Him and helping others that you find the true meaning of life in this world, LOVE. And that LOVE, His LOVE leads you to a life of fullfillment more than you can ever imagine.
Remember the person I spoke of that often mis-understands me?
Kate has many people like that in her life, as do all of us. What did she learn through each trial and struggle?
She prayed.
God, give the strength to love them. Show me how to love them.
and he does just that.
So I will keep writing, and I will keep explaining myself, and I will continue to pray," God show me how to love them more and more."
Thank you to each and everyone of you who take a moment to read this blog, and follow along with me on my journey. Thank you for your comments. They mean so much to me. Without these comments, I doubt I would continue on, but we all need inspiring. We all need encouragement and support, each in our own way. May we continue to grow and journey together.
You've got something to say - say it!!
We'll never truly know the impact we make on this world until Jesus' face we see.
until then...... enjoy the youtube video I've posted here
The song and lyrics
You've got Something to Say by Matthew West.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSVGocVpLko
Amy
Friday, January 23, 2009
Submit - Battling with God, This Warrior is a child.
The song today is by Twilia Paris - The Warrior is a Child.
"They don't know that I go running home when I fall downThey don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and and cry for just a while 'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child"
Submit- Does this word make you cringe?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1 (NIV)
Like a child who has been told they are to do something they do not want to do, you can just see yourself standing there, putting your hands to your head, grabbing fistfuls of hair, crying out to your father in heaven and going, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's familiar with these temper tantrums, I'm sure.
James goes on to say throughout Chapter 4 (NIV)
"2.You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
6"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
17 "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
That last part is a real blow to the ego.
"Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
Ok, everyone who is struggling with this issue of submission, you know you want to,
go ahead and take a deep breath and sigh deeply. (SIGH........)
The Bible tells all of us to submit first to God, and then to one another in reverence to Christ.
Job 22:21"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you."
Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"
What does Submit mean anyway? I looked it up.http://www.freedictionary.com/, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
Submit- To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.Submission - the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant
Submissive - Inclined or willing to submit,
Submission - showing quiet obedience
I did a word search for these three words on http://www.biblegateway.com/
The Word, "submit," came up 26 times, "submission," 8 times and, "submissive" 4 times
As a woman, the Bible is quite clear on the matter.
I'm sure many of you are very familiar with the following:
Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
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Oh boy, there are times when I really don’t want to do that.
It just doesn’t seem fair. Are we really suppose to obey, be compliant, humble ourselves to our husbands lead?
But what if we think he’s wrong in what he believes?
Keep reading ladies..... it's not all bad
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Peter 3:1" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,"
1 Peter 3:5 "For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,"
Why do we struggle so much with this issue?
We're selfish.
Our sinful nature is a selfish nature. We all have sin, and in the center of sin is what? "I"
Philippians 1:21 (NIV) "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
If you are a Christian, then these words are true
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
For us as women, the instructions seem to go on and on:
1 Timothy 2:11 "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission."
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I used to think Paul had a problem with women, but the more I read, the more grace I’m given to discern and gain in knowledge and wisdom.
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Throughout scripture everyone is told:
Proverbs 17:14 "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
1 Timothy 2:8 "I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
Job 13:5 "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom."
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There's a matter in my own life where this issue of submissiveness keeps coming up.
I just don't want to do it.
Here recently, the issue arose again.
In the past, I would have, like a child, kicked screamed, ranted and raved.
But now, compared to the past, I have committed myself to studying the scriptures, prayer and seeking wise counsel.
It makes all the difference in the world.
Hebrews 5:7 "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Psalm 4:1 "Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
Psalm 102:17 "He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea." Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Psalm 4:4 "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. "
I tried my best, I wanted to do what is right, but in the end, remember, I am only still a child, maturing and growing daily in God’s word.
When I could stand it no longer, when I felt I had no one to turn to but God and desperately needed someone to talk to, I went to a friend whom I trust and sought wise counsel
Proverbs 19:20 "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach"
We’ve had this same discussion 3 times now in 9 years,my friend and I, and once again I let my friend know, “I’m here again and I don’t know what to do. I messed up.”
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
This friend is patient, probably losing patience with me, but still always there for me.
1Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
My friend listened to all I poured out and then, in love and wise counsel, gave me the same advice I’d been given twice before
“Submit – and pray like the dickens!”
But this time……..
“I was ready to listen.”
Isaiah 26:16 "LORD, they came to you in their distress; when you disciplined them, they could barely whisper a prayer."
Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Mark 9:29 He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer. "
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Philippians 1:9 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight"
So, how did this end?
I knew and have known along what to do.
I submitted.
God is working and all is well.
I leave you today with the words of Paul in Philippians 1.
Words I’m beginning to appreciate more and more.
In His love,
Amy
Philippians 1 (NIV)
"Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." (NIV)
"They don't know that I go running home when I fall downThey don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and and cry for just a while 'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child"
Submit- Does this word make you cringe?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1 (NIV)
Like a child who has been told they are to do something they do not want to do, you can just see yourself standing there, putting your hands to your head, grabbing fistfuls of hair, crying out to your father in heaven and going, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's familiar with these temper tantrums, I'm sure.
James goes on to say throughout Chapter 4 (NIV)
"2.You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
6"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
17 "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
That last part is a real blow to the ego.
"Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
Ok, everyone who is struggling with this issue of submission, you know you want to,
go ahead and take a deep breath and sigh deeply. (SIGH........)
The Bible tells all of us to submit first to God, and then to one another in reverence to Christ.
Job 22:21"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you."
Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"
What does Submit mean anyway? I looked it up.http://www.freedictionary.com/, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
Submit- To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.Submission - the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant
Submissive - Inclined or willing to submit,
Submission - showing quiet obedience
I did a word search for these three words on http://www.biblegateway.com/
The Word, "submit," came up 26 times, "submission," 8 times and, "submissive" 4 times
As a woman, the Bible is quite clear on the matter.
I'm sure many of you are very familiar with the following:
Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
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Oh boy, there are times when I really don’t want to do that.
It just doesn’t seem fair. Are we really suppose to obey, be compliant, humble ourselves to our husbands lead?
But what if we think he’s wrong in what he believes?
Keep reading ladies..... it's not all bad
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1 Peter 3:1" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,"
1 Peter 3:5 "For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,"
Why do we struggle so much with this issue?
We're selfish.
Our sinful nature is a selfish nature. We all have sin, and in the center of sin is what? "I"
Philippians 1:21 (NIV) "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
If you are a Christian, then these words are true
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
For us as women, the instructions seem to go on and on:
1 Timothy 2:11 "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission."
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I used to think Paul had a problem with women, but the more I read, the more grace I’m given to discern and gain in knowledge and wisdom.
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Throughout scripture everyone is told:
Proverbs 17:14 "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
1 Timothy 2:8 "I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
Job 13:5 "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom."
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There's a matter in my own life where this issue of submissiveness keeps coming up.
I just don't want to do it.
Here recently, the issue arose again.
In the past, I would have, like a child, kicked screamed, ranted and raved.
But now, compared to the past, I have committed myself to studying the scriptures, prayer and seeking wise counsel.
It makes all the difference in the world.
Hebrews 5:7 "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Psalm 4:1 "Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
Psalm 102:17 "He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea." Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Psalm 4:4 "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. "
I tried my best, I wanted to do what is right, but in the end, remember, I am only still a child, maturing and growing daily in God’s word.
When I could stand it no longer, when I felt I had no one to turn to but God and desperately needed someone to talk to, I went to a friend whom I trust and sought wise counsel
Proverbs 19:20 "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach"
We’ve had this same discussion 3 times now in 9 years,my friend and I, and once again I let my friend know, “I’m here again and I don’t know what to do. I messed up.”
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
This friend is patient, probably losing patience with me, but still always there for me.
1Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
My friend listened to all I poured out and then, in love and wise counsel, gave me the same advice I’d been given twice before
“Submit – and pray like the dickens!”
But this time……..
“I was ready to listen.”
Isaiah 26:16 "LORD, they came to you in their distress; when you disciplined them, they could barely whisper a prayer."
Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Mark 9:29 He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer. "
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Philippians 1:9 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight"
So, how did this end?
I knew and have known along what to do.
I submitted.
God is working and all is well.
I leave you today with the words of Paul in Philippians 1.
Words I’m beginning to appreciate more and more.
In His love,
Amy
Philippians 1 (NIV)
"Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." (NIV)
Saturday, January 17, 2009
You are not Alone - Part 2 Depression/Anxiety : Is it o.k. to take medication or should we just trust in God? The Answer: Yes! and Yes.
I was touched by an email I received on one of my groups yesterday. It was an email I could have written myself ten years ago.
"What's right for me may not be right for you and that's O.K."
This is my motto, and it took me forever to learn it and live by it.
But, God is gracious and patient.
I did not realize I had a problem until I was 25 years old.
I had struggled with anxiety,low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and inadequate coping skills for over 14 years.
I had cratered in the public school system due to the inability to handle peer pressure by becoming anorexic/bulimic ( an attempt to gain some sort of security and control in my life that seemed so insecure and so out-of control).
I had been to my family physician many times as a teen complaining of fatigue, aches, pains, and wanting to just curl up in bed and sleep.
However, the old family doctor was too fixed in his old ways to think anything could be wrong with a young teenage girl who on the outside seemed perfectly healthy.
So without any blood work or running any tests, he assumed I was just "being a teenager," and needed to talk things over with my mom.
Things remained unchanged and continued to get worse.
In my second year of marriage, my OB/GYN suggested to my husband and I that I begin taking Prozac.
But the year was 1991, and Prozac was new to the public and there was much talk about those prescribed the drug having suicidal thoughts or actually committing suicide.
No! This was not what I needed. I was appalled at the doctor! Furious at the thought that he was saying there was something "MENTALLY," wrong with me! We never returned.
In June of 1997, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Lisa.
I had waited so long for this child.
My husband and I had met when I was 12, married when I was 18. Went to college, bought a house, was financially stable.
We did all those things, everyone told us to do first, but since I was 14 yeas old, all I really wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies!
Well, here I was, a baby in my arms.
I should have been the happiest woman on the planet, but I was miserable.
I lost so much weight after the delivery of the baby that my doctor walked right by the very next day and did not recognize me!
I cried all the time for 8 weeks. I lost all desire in eating.
I had trouble producing milk to feed my child.
She had colic. No one in the house was sleeping.
There was trouble with my career.
I finally had this beautiful baby of my dreams in my arms and I had so many things going on, it was hard to enjoy it!
I pulled out of it somehow. I changed jobs, started a regular routine, schedule, etc.
Life was good for almost two years.
I worked, we played. Life became very simple for awhile.
In May 1999, right before Lisa's second birthday, my dad had a sudden heart attack and went to be with the Lord.
Life as I knew it stopped.
I am an only child, and I was very close to my dad.
The men in my life were God, my husband and my dad.
It was earth shattering to me.
I knew of God and believed to some extent, but so many things were confusing.
I was trying to make sense of it all.
I had 5 jobs in the next 6 months.
I just couldn't think straight.
I just wanted to come home and hold Lisa.
Other than Lance, my husband, I had no one to talk to.
He couldn't relate. I'm not blaming him. He had not suffered this kind of loss before.
It was not his fault.
We attended church, but again, they did not know how to relate.
Three months had passed, and people were like, "it's been three months, get over it."
But I couldn't.
I desperately needed somebody to talk to, to understand, to pull me out.
Again, somehow, I pulled through.
After Christmas 1999, Lance and I began trying for baby #2.
I didn't want Lisa to be alone like I was.
I wanted her to have a sibling to share things with.
We conceived in February, bought a house in March.
I began working from home. We were active in a church.
Life was good again.
Sunday July 3, 2000 - We were in church. I was getting up to go from Sunday School to the worship service when I felt the baby drop like a ton of bricks....... and she didn't move for 12 hours.
Yes, "SHE," our beautiful Ariel.
I had just found out I was having another girl.
I had a new doctor. I had just seen him, he put me on a low dose of zoloft to help with depression/anxiety symptoms, all seemed well, but something was definitely wrong now.
Ariel was 22 weeks along and had decided to come out now!
The next 4 months were spent in and out of the hospital and bed, but in the end, through God's grace, I delivered a healthy 7 lb, 13 oz baby girl on November 1, 2000, only one week before my due date.
It was during those 4 months that things started changing for the better, starting with God.
I spent a lot of time lying in a bed talking to God.
"God, you've given me this baby. You've given me Ariel. We've named her. She's here and she's real. I can't see you taking her away from us after you've given her to us."
I'd lie there and listen to her heartbeat on the monitors and pass the time by singing,
I did just that. I had surrendered all to Him.
I realized who was actually in charge, and I put it all in his arms.
From there, it was not all a bed of roses, but it does get better.
In 2001, I was attending Sunday school, and somehow the topic of discussion became about people taking medications for anxiety/depressions.
No one in the room knew I was on medication.
The teacher made it very clear that she firmly believed all of these "medications, "were unnecessary.
I am paraphrasing here, but she went on to say, in a matter of words, people like that needed to just turn to God and trust in God to meet their needs and solve their problems. They just weren't trusting God.
Well, that put me right over the edge in a barrel!
I was not secure nor mature enough in my FAITH yet to realize who was being the immature one here.
I tossed everything I knew about my Zoloft right out the window. Forget the fact that it helps me think straight. Forget the fact that it really does help through post-partum depression and the "baby blues." Forget about all the good the medication can and was doing.
I went right off the meds, and was trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY.
Through a series of events over the next year, God moved us from that church to a new church HOME.
It was here, in our new HOME, that I sat in a pew after church one Sunday, crying and pouring my heart out to our friend and pastor.
True healing and restoration finally began. I was 30 years old.
He's a very kind and understanding man. Not only is he our pastor, but is also a marriage counselor.
God did so good.
You see, not only was I struggling with whether or not I should be on medication or not, but it was also during this time that I began learning about being quiverfull and I felt led to leave my family planning to God.
This is what I had always felt led to do. I just didn't realize it.
All I ever wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies.
I am my most happiest when I am at home being a keeper at home, managing the home and being a mom.
I am called to be Momma. (There's a book in that statement someday, I can almost guarantee it.)
I felt called to be Momma and be quiverfull, but Lance did not.
If you add that to the fact that I'm not on any medication at this point,
I was cratering BIG TIME!
So first things first,
Our Pastor, for the first time in my life said, " It is not your fault."
Oh my goodness, it is not my fault?
I have nothing to feel guilty about?
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Oh how liberating!
He went on to say how he felt depression can be a combination of things.
On one side, yes we do have to learn to turn things over to God and trust in Him and have a relationship with Him, learn to communicate with Him first.
On the other side, sometimes it's also chemical, and a chemical imbalance, and it's the combination of both God and medication that work best together.
That was a new beginning for me.........
Where are we now?
I am not ashamed to say it. I take 25mg of Zoloft a day for depression/anxiety.
I will continue to take it everyday for the rest of my life.
I have quit listening to those out there who would condemn, judge or push their own beliefs and convictions on me.
I listen instead to my heart and the quiet but strong leading of God through His WORD and through the Holy Spirit.
"He leadeth me beside the still waters."
I have had three zoloft babies so far.
Ariel was born 11-01-00
Amelia was born 02-22-04
Michael was born 11-30-06.
All of these children are happy, healthy and beautiful!
I do not fear I am harming my children by taking zoloft while I am pregnant.
Actually, I think I am able to be a better mom, wife, friend and daughter to God because of the medication.
I am happy and healthy and will be able to handle whatever the Lord presents me with.
Am I trusting only in the medication to make my life better?
No, not at all.
God is my best friend. I know I am NEVER ALONE for HE is with me.
I talk with Him in prayer.
I walk with Him through his Word.
A wise home-school mom once said,"God doesn't always call the equipped, but he always equips the called."
God has equipped me with His Holy Spirit, my Bible, my husband, my church family and friends,(all of whom do not judge me nor condemn me, but walk with me with encouragement and support through Faith and Grace in our Lord Jesus Christ.)
And He has equipped me with a believing doctor who supports my belief and calling to be quiverfull.
It has been a long journey. One I would wish on no one else, but I leave you with this one piece of advice I hope you will heed.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you were diabetic and needed insulin the rest of your life, would you refuse to take it and say I'm just going to trust God to make me well?
or would you see it as God providing you what you need through medicine to be well to carry on what he has planned for you?
For me, my zoloft, in combination with my FAITH and TRUST, and what God has provided for me in the forms of medication, support, encouragement, etc., all has equipped me to be well to carry on whatever God has planned for me. May he do the same for you.
A young woman writes of her struggles with anxiety/depression, especially postpartum and her struggles with the issues many Christians face.
Is it o.k. to take medication for anxiety/depression?
Should I just trust in God?
Should I have more children?
She states that she feels so much better on the medication, but many have condemned this woman for taking medication.
Many Christians believe that we who "think" we need medication to deal with our depression/anxiety issues are just "weak" Christians who need to just TRUST in the Lord and take all our concerns to Him in prayer and He will take care of us.
Well.......... they're right...... TO SOME EXTENT, but let me take a few moments to tell you my story and then all of you out there who struggle with these issues can take what you want from
Is it o.k. to take medication for anxiety/depression?
Should I just trust in God?
Should I have more children?
She states that she feels so much better on the medication, but many have condemned this woman for taking medication.
Many Christians believe that we who "think" we need medication to deal with our depression/anxiety issues are just "weak" Christians who need to just TRUST in the Lord and take all our concerns to Him in prayer and He will take care of us.
Well.......... they're right...... TO SOME EXTENT, but let me take a few moments to tell you my story and then all of you out there who struggle with these issues can take what you want from
it, but most of all I hope you
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
"What's right for me may not be right for you and that's O.K."
This is my motto, and it took me forever to learn it and live by it.
But, God is gracious and patient.
I did not realize I had a problem until I was 25 years old.
I had struggled with anxiety,low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and inadequate coping skills for over 14 years.
I had cratered in the public school system due to the inability to handle peer pressure by becoming anorexic/bulimic ( an attempt to gain some sort of security and control in my life that seemed so insecure and so out-of control).
I had been to my family physician many times as a teen complaining of fatigue, aches, pains, and wanting to just curl up in bed and sleep.
However, the old family doctor was too fixed in his old ways to think anything could be wrong with a young teenage girl who on the outside seemed perfectly healthy.
So without any blood work or running any tests, he assumed I was just "being a teenager," and needed to talk things over with my mom.
Things remained unchanged and continued to get worse.
In my second year of marriage, my OB/GYN suggested to my husband and I that I begin taking Prozac.
But the year was 1991, and Prozac was new to the public and there was much talk about those prescribed the drug having suicidal thoughts or actually committing suicide.
No! This was not what I needed. I was appalled at the doctor! Furious at the thought that he was saying there was something "MENTALLY," wrong with me! We never returned.
In June of 1997, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Lisa.
I had waited so long for this child.
My husband and I had met when I was 12, married when I was 18. Went to college, bought a house, was financially stable.
We did all those things, everyone told us to do first, but since I was 14 yeas old, all I really wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies!
Well, here I was, a baby in my arms.
I should have been the happiest woman on the planet, but I was miserable.
I lost so much weight after the delivery of the baby that my doctor walked right by the very next day and did not recognize me!
I cried all the time for 8 weeks. I lost all desire in eating.
I had trouble producing milk to feed my child.
She had colic. No one in the house was sleeping.
There was trouble with my career.
I finally had this beautiful baby of my dreams in my arms and I had so many things going on, it was hard to enjoy it!
I pulled out of it somehow. I changed jobs, started a regular routine, schedule, etc.
Life was good for almost two years.
I worked, we played. Life became very simple for awhile.
In May 1999, right before Lisa's second birthday, my dad had a sudden heart attack and went to be with the Lord.
Life as I knew it stopped.
I am an only child, and I was very close to my dad.
The men in my life were God, my husband and my dad.
It was earth shattering to me.
I knew of God and believed to some extent, but so many things were confusing.
I was trying to make sense of it all.
I had 5 jobs in the next 6 months.
I just couldn't think straight.
I just wanted to come home and hold Lisa.
Other than Lance, my husband, I had no one to talk to.
He couldn't relate. I'm not blaming him. He had not suffered this kind of loss before.
It was not his fault.
We attended church, but again, they did not know how to relate.
Three months had passed, and people were like, "it's been three months, get over it."
But I couldn't.
I desperately needed somebody to talk to, to understand, to pull me out.
Again, somehow, I pulled through.
After Christmas 1999, Lance and I began trying for baby #2.
I didn't want Lisa to be alone like I was.
I wanted her to have a sibling to share things with.
We conceived in February, bought a house in March.
I began working from home. We were active in a church.
Life was good again.
Sunday July 3, 2000 - We were in church. I was getting up to go from Sunday School to the worship service when I felt the baby drop like a ton of bricks....... and she didn't move for 12 hours.
Yes, "SHE," our beautiful Ariel.
I had just found out I was having another girl.
I had a new doctor. I had just seen him, he put me on a low dose of zoloft to help with depression/anxiety symptoms, all seemed well, but something was definitely wrong now.
Ariel was 22 weeks along and had decided to come out now!
The next 4 months were spent in and out of the hospital and bed, but in the end, through God's grace, I delivered a healthy 7 lb, 13 oz baby girl on November 1, 2000, only one week before my due date.
It was during those 4 months that things started changing for the better, starting with God.
I spent a lot of time lying in a bed talking to God.
"God, you've given me this baby. You've given me Ariel. We've named her. She's here and she's real. I can't see you taking her away from us after you've given her to us."
I'd lie there and listen to her heartbeat on the monitors and pass the time by singing,
" All to Jesus, I surrender. All to him I freely give. I will ever love and trust him, in his presence daily live. I surrender all."
I did just that. I had surrendered all to Him.
I realized who was actually in charge, and I put it all in his arms.
From there, it was not all a bed of roses, but it does get better.
In 2001, I was attending Sunday school, and somehow the topic of discussion became about people taking medications for anxiety/depressions.
No one in the room knew I was on medication.
The teacher made it very clear that she firmly believed all of these "medications, "were unnecessary.
I am paraphrasing here, but she went on to say, in a matter of words, people like that needed to just turn to God and trust in God to meet their needs and solve their problems. They just weren't trusting God.
Well, that put me right over the edge in a barrel!
I was not secure nor mature enough in my FAITH yet to realize who was being the immature one here.
I tossed everything I knew about my Zoloft right out the window. Forget the fact that it helps me think straight. Forget the fact that it really does help through post-partum depression and the "baby blues." Forget about all the good the medication can and was doing.
I went right off the meds, and was trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY.
Through a series of events over the next year, God moved us from that church to a new church HOME.
It was here, in our new HOME, that I sat in a pew after church one Sunday, crying and pouring my heart out to our friend and pastor.
True healing and restoration finally began. I was 30 years old.
He's a very kind and understanding man. Not only is he our pastor, but is also a marriage counselor.
God did so good.
You see, not only was I struggling with whether or not I should be on medication or not, but it was also during this time that I began learning about being quiverfull and I felt led to leave my family planning to God.
This is what I had always felt led to do. I just didn't realize it.
All I ever wanted to do was marry Lance and have babies.
I am my most happiest when I am at home being a keeper at home, managing the home and being a mom.
I am called to be Momma. (There's a book in that statement someday, I can almost guarantee it.)
I felt called to be Momma and be quiverfull, but Lance did not.
If you add that to the fact that I'm not on any medication at this point,
I was cratering BIG TIME!
So first things first,
Our Pastor, for the first time in my life said, " It is not your fault."
Oh my goodness, it is not my fault?
I have nothing to feel guilty about?
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Oh how liberating!
He went on to say how he felt depression can be a combination of things.
On one side, yes we do have to learn to turn things over to God and trust in Him and have a relationship with Him, learn to communicate with Him first.
On the other side, sometimes it's also chemical, and a chemical imbalance, and it's the combination of both God and medication that work best together.
That was a new beginning for me.........
Where are we now?
I am not ashamed to say it. I take 25mg of Zoloft a day for depression/anxiety.
I will continue to take it everyday for the rest of my life.
I have quit listening to those out there who would condemn, judge or push their own beliefs and convictions on me.
I listen instead to my heart and the quiet but strong leading of God through His WORD and through the Holy Spirit.
"He leadeth me beside the still waters."
I have had three zoloft babies so far.
Ariel was born 11-01-00
Amelia was born 02-22-04
Michael was born 11-30-06.
All of these children are happy, healthy and beautiful!
I do not fear I am harming my children by taking zoloft while I am pregnant.
Actually, I think I am able to be a better mom, wife, friend and daughter to God because of the medication.
I am happy and healthy and will be able to handle whatever the Lord presents me with.
Am I trusting only in the medication to make my life better?
No, not at all.
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways Acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:4-5
God is my best friend. I know I am NEVER ALONE for HE is with me.
I talk with Him in prayer.
I walk with Him through his Word.
A wise home-school mom once said,"God doesn't always call the equipped, but he always equips the called."
God has equipped me with His Holy Spirit, my Bible, my husband, my church family and friends,(all of whom do not judge me nor condemn me, but walk with me with encouragement and support through Faith and Grace in our Lord Jesus Christ.)
And He has equipped me with a believing doctor who supports my belief and calling to be quiverfull.
It has been a long journey. One I would wish on no one else, but I leave you with this one piece of advice I hope you will heed.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you were diabetic and needed insulin the rest of your life, would you refuse to take it and say I'm just going to trust God to make me well?
or would you see it as God providing you what you need through medicine to be well to carry on what he has planned for you?
For me, my zoloft, in combination with my FAITH and TRUST, and what God has provided for me in the forms of medication, support, encouragement, etc., all has equipped me to be well to carry on whatever God has planned for me. May he do the same for you.
GO WHERE GOD LEADS YOU.
"For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the LORD,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, "
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you, declares the LORD,
Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Happy New Year!!! You are not alone. Support and Encouragement for 2009
Hello and Happy New Year 2009!!!
I've been out for awhile now, but for good reason.
Let's see........ Our new house is almost complete, I was allowed the privilege of writing and directing our church's Christmas play, I needed some time just me and God, a little R & R, Rest & Reassurance, and I'm still homeschooling my four children, my five year old niece, and on top of that trying to lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months! (I lost 6 pounds this first week). So all in all, I am busy, but all is well, and getting better!!!
The family photo you see was taken December 11, 2008. Family photos are always an experience for us. This one turned out very well despite the fact that I am a major blinker. I will blink at anything. It took us 2 hours to do this photo shoot. Michael was having an allergic reaction and asking for a hamburger and Dr.Pepper. This was the first year Lisa had glasses, so we had to be careful not to have glare off of both Lisa's and Lance's glasses, keep Michael smiling and happy and keep me from blinking. This family photo is pulled off each year by God's Grace Alone.
Alone. What a horrible word. No one should ever be Alone.
During my R& R, God and I are constantly working on forgiving and forgetting. There were times in my past when I was alone, or at least I thought I was. But you know what? God is so good. Sometimes he has to wait on you to realize that, but God is and always will be a good and loving God who wants you to realize YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. God is always here.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)
I did a search on http://www.biblegateway.com/ for the words "never leave you." Over 10 entries popped up right away. Here are two of them.
Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
These two verses alone should make you able to stand up bold and courageous and yell at the top of your lungs. " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!"
FAITH IS A VICTORY, FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
Proverbs 3:4-5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." (NIV)
Let me assure you in 2009 whatever you are going through, whatever comes your way, know God is with you and you are not alone.
My family and I have begun reading the Bible together each night. We call it Bible Time. We read from Psalms, Proverbs and 2-3 other books each night to complete the whole Bible in a year. I'm enjoying this time each night with my family, studying and reading together.
I encourage you to spend time each day hiding God's Word in your heart and praying to him. He created you for fellowship. He wants you to know him and he wants the priviledge of being part of your life. But he will not come in until you open the door and let him in.
Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."(NIV)
Let Him In!!!!
I am here to testify when you place Christ in the center of all you do, there is nothing you cannot do. The foundation you stand on is TRUE AND FIRM, no storms of life will shake you, you will overcome any and all obstacles!
Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (NIV)
I've been out for awhile now, but for good reason.
Let's see........ Our new house is almost complete, I was allowed the privilege of writing and directing our church's Christmas play, I needed some time just me and God, a little R & R, Rest & Reassurance, and I'm still homeschooling my four children, my five year old niece, and on top of that trying to lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months! (I lost 6 pounds this first week). So all in all, I am busy, but all is well, and getting better!!!
The family photo you see was taken December 11, 2008. Family photos are always an experience for us. This one turned out very well despite the fact that I am a major blinker. I will blink at anything. It took us 2 hours to do this photo shoot. Michael was having an allergic reaction and asking for a hamburger and Dr.Pepper. This was the first year Lisa had glasses, so we had to be careful not to have glare off of both Lisa's and Lance's glasses, keep Michael smiling and happy and keep me from blinking. This family photo is pulled off each year by God's Grace Alone.
Alone. What a horrible word. No one should ever be Alone.
During my R& R, God and I are constantly working on forgiving and forgetting. There were times in my past when I was alone, or at least I thought I was. But you know what? God is so good. Sometimes he has to wait on you to realize that, but God is and always will be a good and loving God who wants you to realize YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. God is always here.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)
I did a search on http://www.biblegateway.com/ for the words "never leave you." Over 10 entries popped up right away. Here are two of them.
Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
These two verses alone should make you able to stand up bold and courageous and yell at the top of your lungs. " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!"
FAITH IS A VICTORY, FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
Proverbs 3:4-5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." (NIV)
Let me assure you in 2009 whatever you are going through, whatever comes your way, know God is with you and you are not alone.
My family and I have begun reading the Bible together each night. We call it Bible Time. We read from Psalms, Proverbs and 2-3 other books each night to complete the whole Bible in a year. I'm enjoying this time each night with my family, studying and reading together.
I encourage you to spend time each day hiding God's Word in your heart and praying to him. He created you for fellowship. He wants you to know him and he wants the priviledge of being part of your life. But he will not come in until you open the door and let him in.
Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."(NIV)
Let Him In!!!!
I am here to testify when you place Christ in the center of all you do, there is nothing you cannot do. The foundation you stand on is TRUE AND FIRM, no storms of life will shake you, you will overcome any and all obstacles!
Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)
Happy New Year
Give God the Glory
Make Christ the Center of All you do
and know
You Are Not Alone.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Whatever you're doing......... I'm ready
Hello everyone,
Welcome back. Yes I realize it's been almost one month since my last post. God has been busy.
His work and His hands are evident wherever I look. The song you are listening to is by a group called Sanctus Real.
It is entitled,
"Whatever you're doing."
Listen carefully and read the lyrics. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZayut9i45M)
"It's time for healing
time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace.
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see,
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you going through something similar?
Does it feel like God is up to something?
Whatever you're doing God, it feels like chaos, but also like peace
"It's time for healing time to move on.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me.
All I can do is surrender."
Learning to trust,
finding where you belong
letting go and letting God...........
It's not easy, but you are His child.
He loves you.
Take His hand and enjoy the walk
Talk with you soon,
Amy
Welcome back. Yes I realize it's been almost one month since my last post. God has been busy.
His work and His hands are evident wherever I look. The song you are listening to is by a group called Sanctus Real.
It is entitled,
"Whatever you're doing."
Listen carefully and read the lyrics. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZayut9i45M)
"It's time for healing
time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace.
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see,
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you going through something similar?
Does it feel like God is up to something?
Whatever you're doing God, it feels like chaos, but also like peace
"It's time for healing time to move on.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me.
All I can do is surrender."
Learning to trust,
finding where you belong
letting go and letting God...........
It's not easy, but you are His child.
He loves you.
Take His hand and enjoy the walk
Talk with you soon,
Amy
Thursday, October 16, 2008
You're Beautiful
It's been an interesting week here in the Wingfield home. If you are like me, you are doing several things at once and thinking about so much more.
Sunday morning, a young lady sang this song,
How Beautiful -
How Beautiful the hands that served the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked the long dusty road and the hill to the cross
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
How Beautiful the heart that bled that took all my sins and bore it instead
How beautiful the tender eyes that choose to forgive and never despise
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
And as He lay down His life
We offer this sacrifice that we will live just as He died willing to pay the price
willing to pay the price
How Beautiful the radiant bride who waits for her Groom with His light in her eyes
How Beautiful when humble hearts give the fruit of pure love so that others may live
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
How beautiful the feet that bring the sound of good news and the love of the King
How Beautiful the hands that serve the wine and the bread and the sons of the Earth
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
This past Saturday, my oldest daughter and I were helping a Saturday Bread Ministry deliver lunch to those in need. We truly saw those in need, and we're glad we had volunteered to help.
It felt good to be doing something to help others for whatever reason could not help themselves.
On the way home, we stopped by a local store to pick up a few things and my daughter read a tabloids, "Jamie-Lynn Spears Pregnant Again." For those that might not know the story, this is Britney Spears sister who had a Nickelodeon Teen show. She glamorized teen pregnancy for some, a very poor role model in my opinion. Anyway, she gave birth 3 months ago. She's 17 years old. I do not know if the rumors are true, I hope they are not, but rumors are running that she's 8 weeks pregnant and considering termination.
My daughter, Lisa ( age 11), and I had a long talk about people looking for love and attention in the wrong places. People who have holes in their lives that only God can fill.
How beautiful you are to God
No matter who you are:
Stay-at-home mom
Single mother
Widow
Barren woman
Dying one
Homeless one
Hurting one
You are beautiful to God
FAITH - my little Ariel sings this little song " Faith is just believing what God says he will do."
Out of the mouths of babes.......
God is TRUTHFUL
God is FAITHFUL
GOD is LOVE
God loves you and he will meet all your need if you will only allow him in.
Only God can fill the VOIDS in your life
Are you hurting?
Are you dying?
Are you homeless or alone?
Do you feel like no one cares and you don't know what to do?
Have you trusted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord?
To accept Jesus is simple...... it's a free gift from God, just take it.
You can ask Jesus into your heart with this very simple prayer, just repeat it.
Dear Jesus,
I know I need you
I know I'm a sinner
I'm sorry. Please help me turn away from these things
I believe you are God's Son sent here for me to die in my place for my sins.
Please come into my life, walk with me and help me.
Thank you Lord for loving me and saving me.
Amen.
That's it. Welcome to the family.
May the God of all Hope, Peace and Love fill you in ways no one can ever fill you.
I leave you today with two of my favorite verses to encourage you.
Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.
Proverbs 3:4-5 (NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Love,
Your sister in Christ,
Amy
Sunday morning, a young lady sang this song,
How Beautiful -
How Beautiful the hands that served the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked the long dusty road and the hill to the cross
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
How Beautiful the heart that bled that took all my sins and bore it instead
How beautiful the tender eyes that choose to forgive and never despise
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
And as He lay down His life
We offer this sacrifice that we will live just as He died willing to pay the price
willing to pay the price
How Beautiful the radiant bride who waits for her Groom with His light in her eyes
How Beautiful when humble hearts give the fruit of pure love so that others may live
How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
How beautiful the feet that bring the sound of good news and the love of the King
How Beautiful the hands that serve the wine and the bread and the sons of the Earth
How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ
This past Saturday, my oldest daughter and I were helping a Saturday Bread Ministry deliver lunch to those in need. We truly saw those in need, and we're glad we had volunteered to help.
It felt good to be doing something to help others for whatever reason could not help themselves.
On the way home, we stopped by a local store to pick up a few things and my daughter read a tabloids, "Jamie-Lynn Spears Pregnant Again." For those that might not know the story, this is Britney Spears sister who had a Nickelodeon Teen show. She glamorized teen pregnancy for some, a very poor role model in my opinion. Anyway, she gave birth 3 months ago. She's 17 years old. I do not know if the rumors are true, I hope they are not, but rumors are running that she's 8 weeks pregnant and considering termination.
My daughter, Lisa ( age 11), and I had a long talk about people looking for love and attention in the wrong places. People who have holes in their lives that only God can fill.
How beautiful you are to God
No matter who you are:
Stay-at-home mom
Single mother
Widow
Barren woman
Dying one
Homeless one
Hurting one
You are beautiful to God
FAITH - my little Ariel sings this little song " Faith is just believing what God says he will do."
Out of the mouths of babes.......
God is TRUTHFUL
God is FAITHFUL
GOD is LOVE
God loves you and he will meet all your need if you will only allow him in.
Only God can fill the VOIDS in your life
Are you hurting?
Are you dying?
Are you homeless or alone?
Do you feel like no one cares and you don't know what to do?
Have you trusted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord?
To accept Jesus is simple...... it's a free gift from God, just take it.
You can ask Jesus into your heart with this very simple prayer, just repeat it.
Dear Jesus,
I know I need you
I know I'm a sinner
I'm sorry. Please help me turn away from these things
I believe you are God's Son sent here for me to die in my place for my sins.
Please come into my life, walk with me and help me.
Thank you Lord for loving me and saving me.
Amen.
That's it. Welcome to the family.
May the God of all Hope, Peace and Love fill you in ways no one can ever fill you.
I leave you today with two of my favorite verses to encourage you.
Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.
Proverbs 3:4-5 (NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Love,
Your sister in Christ,
Amy
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Duggar Family Mania - A Gentle Loving Reminder
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. " Jeremiah 29-11-14a (NIV)
Duggar Mania is here. Everywhere I look, we see 17 Kids and Counting, see the websites, buy the DVD's, but the book, get their picture, what do they believe? what books do they use? what resources do they use? I want to be like Michelle.......... etc., etc., etc.
I will humbly admit to you too that I am one who tapes all the shows, watches religiously and yes wants to be like Michelle in certain ways myself. But I think it's very easy to get carried away and move further away from God's plan for us instead of closer to his unique special plan for each of us.
So please know, what I am saying here, is I love watching the Duggar family and getting some great ideas from their teachings. I am not trying to condemn them or judge them, but I want to lovingly remind everyone out there that God may not have the same plans for you as he has for Michelle.
In the New Testament, Legalism is addressed in many different ways. And literally speaking, Legalism can mean paying closer attention to rules and laws than to what God has given you and chosen for you through his grace and mercy and His gift through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Legalism can also mean, pushing your own beliefs, rules, laws etc. on other people because you believe you are right, you have declared yourself righteous, better than others.
Sometimes, without intending to, you can push your beliefs onto someone else simply because that person is not where you are at, this may be a weaker brother or sister. These are the ones we need to be so careful with. The ones still learning that all God requires of you is that you accept his free gift of His Son Jesus Christ, love mercy and live humbly with your Lord - NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!
Galations 5:1-18 (NIV)
Galatians 5
Freedom in Christ 1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
2Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. 6For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature[a]; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Life by the Spirit 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
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Walk and live by the Spirit, The Holy Spirit of God. Daily rising and seeking only what he has purposed for you. Pray continuously. Search the scriptures. Search your heart!
I've said it many, many times before.
God has a very special purpose and plan for each of our lives. What he has planned for me, he may not have planned for you, and that's O.K.
We are all given specials gifts to work together in our strengthens and weaknesses to build up the body of Christ.
When we go off comparing, envying and coveting what others have or do, we have strayed away from what God has planned for us. Keep your eyes on the Lord. God gives each of us abilities and gifts.
But godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6 (NIV)
If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment. Job 36:11 (NIV)
Live by Faith
Romans 14:22-23 (NIV)
22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
There is only one Michelle Duggar, and God has very special plans just for her and her family.
There is only one Amy Wingfield, and what he has planned for me he may not have planned for you and your family, and that's ok!
I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? Psalms 121:1
Quit looking around, comparing yourselves to each other.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, Colossains 3:23 (NIV)
He loves you and wants only the best for you.
Amy
Duggar Mania is here. Everywhere I look, we see 17 Kids and Counting, see the websites, buy the DVD's, but the book, get their picture, what do they believe? what books do they use? what resources do they use? I want to be like Michelle.......... etc., etc., etc.
I will humbly admit to you too that I am one who tapes all the shows, watches religiously and yes wants to be like Michelle in certain ways myself. But I think it's very easy to get carried away and move further away from God's plan for us instead of closer to his unique special plan for each of us.
So please know, what I am saying here, is I love watching the Duggar family and getting some great ideas from their teachings. I am not trying to condemn them or judge them, but I want to lovingly remind everyone out there that God may not have the same plans for you as he has for Michelle.
In the New Testament, Legalism is addressed in many different ways. And literally speaking, Legalism can mean paying closer attention to rules and laws than to what God has given you and chosen for you through his grace and mercy and His gift through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Legalism can also mean, pushing your own beliefs, rules, laws etc. on other people because you believe you are right, you have declared yourself righteous, better than others.
Sometimes, without intending to, you can push your beliefs onto someone else simply because that person is not where you are at, this may be a weaker brother or sister. These are the ones we need to be so careful with. The ones still learning that all God requires of you is that you accept his free gift of His Son Jesus Christ, love mercy and live humbly with your Lord - NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!
Galations 5:1-18 (NIV)
Galatians 5
Freedom in Christ 1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
2Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. 6For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature[a]; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Life by the Spirit 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
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Walk and live by the Spirit, The Holy Spirit of God. Daily rising and seeking only what he has purposed for you. Pray continuously. Search the scriptures. Search your heart!
I've said it many, many times before.
God has a very special purpose and plan for each of our lives. What he has planned for me, he may not have planned for you, and that's O.K.
We are all given specials gifts to work together in our strengthens and weaknesses to build up the body of Christ.
When we go off comparing, envying and coveting what others have or do, we have strayed away from what God has planned for us. Keep your eyes on the Lord. God gives each of us abilities and gifts.
But godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6 (NIV)
If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment. Job 36:11 (NIV)
Live by Faith
Romans 14:22-23 (NIV)
22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
There is only one Michelle Duggar, and God has very special plans just for her and her family.
There is only one Amy Wingfield, and what he has planned for me he may not have planned for you and your family, and that's ok!
I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? Psalms 121:1
Quit looking around, comparing yourselves to each other.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, Colossains 3:23 (NIV)
He loves you and wants only the best for you.
Amy
Monday, October 6, 2008
Turtles, Penguins and Disappointments
Hello all,
It's been an interesting weekend here at the Wingfield home.
I did have a wonderful date with my husband on Saturday afternoon. We saw the movie Fireproof. I won't spoil it for anyone, but I will say if you have not seen it, please go. It's definitely worth your time, your money and your thoughts.
My thoughts............ concerning the movie..... I think I'd rather keep those private for now. This movie's main focus is all about 1. Getting right with God and 2. Getting right with your spouse.
Both are very private and intimate things to me, and so I will just encourage you to go and see for yourself what God has in store for you after watching this movie. Only God knows.
I went to the zoo yesterday after church. Our local zoo has a free ticket day, once a year. You bring an outdated phone book. The zoo recycles the books and you get free admission to the zoo. It saves me $30, so I always make it a point to go with my children each year. They love seeing the animals.
This trip for me was like no other. This time I had my neices with me and their mother. I'm home-schooling not only my own children, but my two little neices too. So this was our first field trip for the year.
I wore the hats of teacher and chaperone on this trip. I'm also the mother of a very active 22 month old little boy, Michael, who is determined to never use a stroller again, but take life at his own pace.
Michael constantly reminds me to slow down and enjoy life. Michael could have cared less about the zoo animals. He loves the outdoors and he loves watching people. So while all the little girls are dragging my sister-in-law to see all the animals at break neck speed, I'm lagging behind with Michael.
Michael has a sippy cup in one hand, a lollipop in the other and is strolling through the zoo slower than Moses in the desert, not watching the animals, but enjoying all the sites and the people around him. He loved it. Who cares about the cheetahs and the monkeys? I'm outside, I'm free and there's things going on all around me! COOL!!
He's so smart and so observant. It's amazing what he tunes into.
And for the first time, I found myself observing the animals in whole new way.
Turtles -Turtles are selfish, simple creatures. I think their primary existence consists of their desire, for food, sleep and personal satisfaction.
We visted the penguins too. They eat, they sleep, they swim.
Maybe I'm really, really tired, but I found myself envying the simple life of the turtles and the penguins. Wouldn't it be great to just be sinful little creatures if for only awhile?
Well....... no, as I was reminded tonight, as I was sharing these thoughts at a ladies Bible study, turtles and penguins don't have souls. They don't have the assurance of life eternal with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. They go through life simply doing what feels good, what is instinctly right for them, and one day they will die and that will be it. They will cease to exist.
We as humans, as Sons and Daughters of the Father, as Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we were created with the purpose of love and fellowship, to put others before ourselves, to share love and be loved, to put Christ in the center of all we do. To grow and mature physically, emotionally and spiritually, becoming more like Him who created us everyday. To accept and to have the assurance of life everlasting, eternally. We will not cease to exist.
Lesson learned: I would not want to be a turtle or a penguin, but maybe I do need to slow down a little bit, enjoy life a little more and spend more time with God. I know I've taken on a little too much and I need to down-size and re-organize a few of my priorities. Thank goodness for GRACE - Amen sisters?
Disappointments - God gave Eve to Adam for fellowship. Someone to share with.
However just as we are not perfect, neither our our friendships, and we have to realize that Grace abounds here too, in our friendships and how we relate to one another.
No two people are alike. We are all given a special purpose and plan, and gifts from God. What I'm called to do you might not be called to do. And, what I think is "so cool!" you might think is just "HORRIBLE," but it is when we can look past these differences and embrace each other's uniqueness that true bonding, fellowship and friendship can blossom and bare fruit.
I have been feeling lonely lately. I have no one to share with. What I mean, is I can't find anyone like me.
I can't find anyone out there who enjoys the same things I enjoy. I don't know anyone, other than the Duggars, who embrace having children like I do.
I love giving everything, all that I am, every aspect of my life, my soul, my heart, over to God. I've learned to go to God with everything and he has met all of my needs. But in my own selfish nature, I desire someone to share all of this with, and I can't find that person.
Yes, I'm married. Yes I share things with my husband, but he does not share my belief that I feel led to lay everything at God's feet. He does feel God expects him to meet certain responsibilities when it comes to family planning and provisions. It makes for some difficult times in our lives because we do not agree on these issues. Each time I conceive, I go through a time of mixed emotions of total estatic happiness over our new blessing from God to feelings of total lonliness because my spouse does not share my joy.
I know some of you would tell me if your husband says, "No more," then it should be , " No more." I know some of you feel that way. But this is my cross I carry, and I feel so strongly that this is my calling, that even this too is a matter of prayer, more than I can possibly express, and I know if it's meant to be, it will be.
But I wish I could share this joy with my husband. I've accepted we are different, I pray God will change our hearts, grow our marriage and make it stronger. I know He is in His own way and in His own time, but also, it is up to us too, to openly embrace each other, our seperate gifts and callings, with all our strengths and weaknesses working together as one to give God the Glory.
The same thing goes for friendships. As hard as I try, I've yet to find another woman on the planet who wants to have as many children as God wants her to have and enjoys cooking for large groups of people and loves to write and share the way I do.
OK I GIVE UP, I REALIZE I'M UNIQUE,
" God made me special and he loves me very much." (Thank you Bob and Larry!)
but I am still lonely. I wish I could go to social events and share about my desires to have more children and cook for 100+ people, and not come away feeling like everyone just thinks I'm nuts!!
It doesn't take long sitting among your peers to realize you all have different gifts and talents, but some gifts and talents are easier embraced, encouraged and supported than others.
And let's face it, being quiverfull and enjoying feeding large groups is just not easily embraced in today's, " let's make things easier world."
I don't know why God has called me with these gifts, but I love them. I cherish each blessing. I get excited when asked to cook. I know you know I am eager to share through my writings. For the most part I'm happy. " If you're happy and you know it shout HOORAY!!!!!"
I just wished I had someone to shout Hooray with me.
Dear Lord,
"You are my refuge,my portion in the land of the living" (psalm 142:5) NIV
"You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence."(Acts 2:28)"
Take away the lonliness and feel me with joy.
Amen,
Amy
It's been an interesting weekend here at the Wingfield home.
I did have a wonderful date with my husband on Saturday afternoon. We saw the movie Fireproof. I won't spoil it for anyone, but I will say if you have not seen it, please go. It's definitely worth your time, your money and your thoughts.
My thoughts............ concerning the movie..... I think I'd rather keep those private for now. This movie's main focus is all about 1. Getting right with God and 2. Getting right with your spouse.
Both are very private and intimate things to me, and so I will just encourage you to go and see for yourself what God has in store for you after watching this movie. Only God knows.
I went to the zoo yesterday after church. Our local zoo has a free ticket day, once a year. You bring an outdated phone book. The zoo recycles the books and you get free admission to the zoo. It saves me $30, so I always make it a point to go with my children each year. They love seeing the animals.
This trip for me was like no other. This time I had my neices with me and their mother. I'm home-schooling not only my own children, but my two little neices too. So this was our first field trip for the year.
I wore the hats of teacher and chaperone on this trip. I'm also the mother of a very active 22 month old little boy, Michael, who is determined to never use a stroller again, but take life at his own pace.
Michael constantly reminds me to slow down and enjoy life. Michael could have cared less about the zoo animals. He loves the outdoors and he loves watching people. So while all the little girls are dragging my sister-in-law to see all the animals at break neck speed, I'm lagging behind with Michael.
Michael has a sippy cup in one hand, a lollipop in the other and is strolling through the zoo slower than Moses in the desert, not watching the animals, but enjoying all the sites and the people around him. He loved it. Who cares about the cheetahs and the monkeys? I'm outside, I'm free and there's things going on all around me! COOL!!
He's so smart and so observant. It's amazing what he tunes into.
And for the first time, I found myself observing the animals in whole new way.
Turtles -Turtles are selfish, simple creatures. I think their primary existence consists of their desire, for food, sleep and personal satisfaction.
We visted the penguins too. They eat, they sleep, they swim.
Maybe I'm really, really tired, but I found myself envying the simple life of the turtles and the penguins. Wouldn't it be great to just be sinful little creatures if for only awhile?
Well....... no, as I was reminded tonight, as I was sharing these thoughts at a ladies Bible study, turtles and penguins don't have souls. They don't have the assurance of life eternal with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. They go through life simply doing what feels good, what is instinctly right for them, and one day they will die and that will be it. They will cease to exist.
We as humans, as Sons and Daughters of the Father, as Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we were created with the purpose of love and fellowship, to put others before ourselves, to share love and be loved, to put Christ in the center of all we do. To grow and mature physically, emotionally and spiritually, becoming more like Him who created us everyday. To accept and to have the assurance of life everlasting, eternally. We will not cease to exist.
Lesson learned: I would not want to be a turtle or a penguin, but maybe I do need to slow down a little bit, enjoy life a little more and spend more time with God. I know I've taken on a little too much and I need to down-size and re-organize a few of my priorities. Thank goodness for GRACE - Amen sisters?
Disappointments - God gave Eve to Adam for fellowship. Someone to share with.
However just as we are not perfect, neither our our friendships, and we have to realize that Grace abounds here too, in our friendships and how we relate to one another.
No two people are alike. We are all given a special purpose and plan, and gifts from God. What I'm called to do you might not be called to do. And, what I think is "so cool!" you might think is just "HORRIBLE," but it is when we can look past these differences and embrace each other's uniqueness that true bonding, fellowship and friendship can blossom and bare fruit.
I have been feeling lonely lately. I have no one to share with. What I mean, is I can't find anyone like me.
I can't find anyone out there who enjoys the same things I enjoy. I don't know anyone, other than the Duggars, who embrace having children like I do.
I love giving everything, all that I am, every aspect of my life, my soul, my heart, over to God. I've learned to go to God with everything and he has met all of my needs. But in my own selfish nature, I desire someone to share all of this with, and I can't find that person.
Yes, I'm married. Yes I share things with my husband, but he does not share my belief that I feel led to lay everything at God's feet. He does feel God expects him to meet certain responsibilities when it comes to family planning and provisions. It makes for some difficult times in our lives because we do not agree on these issues. Each time I conceive, I go through a time of mixed emotions of total estatic happiness over our new blessing from God to feelings of total lonliness because my spouse does not share my joy.
I know some of you would tell me if your husband says, "No more," then it should be , " No more." I know some of you feel that way. But this is my cross I carry, and I feel so strongly that this is my calling, that even this too is a matter of prayer, more than I can possibly express, and I know if it's meant to be, it will be.
But I wish I could share this joy with my husband. I've accepted we are different, I pray God will change our hearts, grow our marriage and make it stronger. I know He is in His own way and in His own time, but also, it is up to us too, to openly embrace each other, our seperate gifts and callings, with all our strengths and weaknesses working together as one to give God the Glory.
The same thing goes for friendships. As hard as I try, I've yet to find another woman on the planet who wants to have as many children as God wants her to have and enjoys cooking for large groups of people and loves to write and share the way I do.
OK I GIVE UP, I REALIZE I'M UNIQUE,
" God made me special and he loves me very much." (Thank you Bob and Larry!)
but I am still lonely. I wish I could go to social events and share about my desires to have more children and cook for 100+ people, and not come away feeling like everyone just thinks I'm nuts!!
It doesn't take long sitting among your peers to realize you all have different gifts and talents, but some gifts and talents are easier embraced, encouraged and supported than others.
And let's face it, being quiverfull and enjoying feeding large groups is just not easily embraced in today's, " let's make things easier world."
I don't know why God has called me with these gifts, but I love them. I cherish each blessing. I get excited when asked to cook. I know you know I am eager to share through my writings. For the most part I'm happy. " If you're happy and you know it shout HOORAY!!!!!"
I just wished I had someone to shout Hooray with me.
Dear Lord,
"You are my refuge,my portion in the land of the living" (psalm 142:5) NIV
"You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence."(Acts 2:28)"
Take away the lonliness and feel me with joy.
Amen,
Amy
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